Night and Day
by Peridot Writer
Summary: Jade is nighttime, dark, gloomy. Tori is daytime, bright, sunny. Do opposites truly attract?
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Jade is nighttime, dark, gloomy. Tori is daytime, bright, sunny. Do opposites truly attract?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious or any of its plots and characters. This is simply for entertainment purposes. All rights belong to Nickelodeon.**

"VEGA!" The group jumped up slightly, turning their heads in unison towards the goth that came rushing over, her green eyes blazing in fury.

"I think you might wanna run," Andre whispered to the Latina.

"Yeah, good idea," she mumbled back and turned to leave, letting out a cry of shock when her wrist was grabbed by the paler girl. As she was dragged off, she stared at her friends desperately.

"Hey, Jade. Maybe you should-," Robbie started to walk over to the two. Jade turned around, letting out a hiss that caused him to shrink back in fear.

"Did you pee your pants?" Cat asked meekly, playing with her bright, red hair.

"N-no," he responded back, trying to hide it.

"Then why are your pants wet?" Rex intervened. The nerd said nothing and hurried off to the opposite direction of the group. The remaining three watched as Jade literally pulled Tori into the janitors closet, slamming the door shut behind them and standing in front of it so the singer had no chance in leaving.

"Why do we always have these conversations in the janitor's closet?" She groaned, sliding down the wall. She didn't have time to react as Jade grabbed her by the collar of her shirt, pulling her up. The goth held her down against the wall, staring into her chocolate eyes as her own bright with anger. "Jade?" Tori managed to whimper out.

"Did you sleep with Beck?" Was all Jade asked.

"Huh?"

"Don't play stupid with me, Vega! Did you or did you not sleep with Beck?!" She demanded, holding her tighter. The Latina grimaced from the discomfort.

"No! I didn't! Even if I did, why would you care? You two aren't even together anymore!"

Jade stared into her eyes once more, searching them to see if she was telling the truth. Once she made sure she was, she let her go. Tori let out a breath she didn't know she was holding out of fear. "Why would you think that I slept with Beck?" She asked, fixing her purple blouse.

Jade said nothing, rummaging through her black bag and pulling out a letter. "This was in Beck's locker," she said simply, handing the pink paper to the darker girl.

She took it, looking it over. "This isn't my handwriting and wait… What were you doing in Beck's locker?"

"Yes, this is your handwriting." She grabbed the note back, looking it over. "Wait… If this isn't your handwriting… Then whose is it?"

Tori shrugged. "Is there a signature?"

A negative shake of the head came from Jade. "No, it doesn't have one. I…" She read over it one more time.

"Wait, this is Trina's writing," she realized her sister's cursive.

"Why would she be sending love notes to Beck?" Jade glanced up at the girl who shrugged in response. She crumpled up the paper, tossing it into a garbage bag set on the floor.

"Why do you care who Beck's with? You said several times that you no longer care about who he dates," Tori stated, following her quickly as she left the closet.

Tori received no answer, causing her to grow rather annoyed. "Hey!" She yelled, causing Jade to groan in annoyance.

"Whaaattt?!" She drawled out, turning around and looking back towards her.

"You don't get to drag me against my will into the janitor's closet, pin me down against the wall and accuse me of something I didn't do! You owe me for that and I want to know why you care so much and you're gonna tell me!"

The goth sighed and stayed silent as if Tori would just magically disappear so she wouldn't have to answer the question. No such luck When she realized that she had no choice but to answer Tori's question, she groaned again. "I…" She started. "I still like him and… I regret letting him go. I'm jealous, alright? It was better off when you were with him because I knew that you-," she caught herself as she spoke and trailed off, cursing to herself, wishing she hadn't said that.

"That I what?" Tori urged her to continue. It was like pulling teeth but she would eventually get an answer she wanted out of the paler girl. She could be just as stubborn as her, there was no doubt about that. Not for an instant.

"That you are at least good for him," Jade finished, staring at her black boots in disbelief that she dared to admit that to someone she so desperately loathed and wanted out of her life entirely.

"Oh…" Tori whispered.

"Oh? That's all I get?" She demanded. "I give you a compliment and all you say is 'oh'? Will you just say 'oh' if I ram a scissor up your-?!" She was cut off by Trina who walked over.

"Hey, Tori," the older Vega directed towards her. "Which lipstick goes with this outfit better? The purple one? Or the orange one?"

"I don't know…" She sighed, looking rather annoyed. "The orange one, I guess. Why do you want to know?"

"Cause I'm going on a date tonight," she spoke as if it was obvious.

"With who…?" Jade entered the conversation.

"With Beck! Obviously!" She laughed.

Jade rose two black eyebrows. "And he agreed to go with you?"

"Well, he doesn't know yet but… As soon as he gets the note I sent him, he'll say yes!" She laughed.

"You mean this note?" Jade held it up for Trina to see.

"Yes," she went to go snatch it back but it was pulled away before she could retrieve it. "Where'd you get that? How'd you get that?" She asked, trying once more to get it.

"Didn't you throw the note out?" Tori asked the goth who seemed unfazed at Trina's attempts.

"She left more than once," Jade responded.

"Well, how many did she leave?"

"About ten," Trina answered, losing her breath quickly as she finally grabbed the note.

"Why?"

"So I know that he retrieved at least one of them," Trina scoffed and patted Jade's shoulder, heading to leave.

The goth turned around and grabbed the obnoxious Vega by her shirt. "Never touch me," she growled.

"Y-yeah. Got it," she laughed nervously and ran off as Jade let her go. The black haired girl left in the opposite direction.

"Hey, wait." Tori stopped Jade.

"Ugh! What now?!" She groaned.

"You don't let anyone touch you, right?"

"Yeah. You know that. Why?"

"Then why do you let me?"

"I don't-." She stopped. She stared at Tori. There had been plenty of times she let Tori touch her, hug her, hold her hand, grab her wrist, pat her shoulder. She blinked as she came back to reality, looking to be in complete disbelief.

"Well? Are you going to answer me?"

"Shut it, Vega," she hissed and left with that.

The Latina looked as though she was about to follow but thought better of it and left as the bell rang.

She couldn't concentrate for the whole class, zoning out during the rather boring lecture. She thought about how Jade had retreated so quickly, how she looked as though she was running from a murderer. Why did Jade allow Tori to touch her? What made her so… different from anyone else? Was it from how many times they were paired together during plays? How much time they truly spent together?

The obvious disdain towards the half-Latina was enough for anyone to know that Jade and Tori were not friends. Not one bit. Then why the silent permissions of the actions?

The day passed much too slowly for the younger Vega's liking, the lunch bell finally ringing. Tori made her way to the normal table, sitting down next to Andre who greeted her in his normal, cheerful mood, his keyboard laying out in front of him.

"Whatcha working on?" Tori asked with a smile. He turned on his keyboard at that.

"A summer song," he responded, eliciting a groan from the approaching goth.

"But it's in the middle of winter," Cat piped in.

"Yeah, well, maybe I'd like to get into the summer spirit a bit earlier," the musician laughed, clapping and rubbing his hands like he's done so many times before. "And it's kinda always summer here so makes no difference otherwise."

"Can't argue with that," Tori grinned.

"What's up?" Came a simple greeting from behind as a Canadian inspiring actor walked over, sitting down next to Tori. Yet another groan emitted from Jade before she stood and left the table, the others watching the scene.

Cat looked over at Beck. "You and Jade still fighting?" She inquired innocently, playing with a strand of strawberry red hair.

"Not really fighting, more like giving each other the silent treatment and one of us leaving, usually it being me attempting to leave before she slits my neck with one of her scissors…"

The perky redhead looked down at that. "Graphic," she mumbled.

"Hey, how 'bout y'all stop focusing on your dangerous love life and listen to my song?" Andre piped up, seemingly more than eager to share it with his friends.

"Yeah, let's hear it," Tori responded.

He smiled, turning on his keyboard for a test run of the song. "Alright Beck, are you ready for our date tonight?" interrupted one particularly older and more annoying one out of the Vega sisters.

"Nevermind then," Andre muttered as all the attention shifted to Trina.

"A what tonight?" Beck inquired, arching a dark eyebrow.

"A date," she smiled. It then faded. "Didn't you get the note that I left you?"

"Yeah, I did. I got several of them throughout today but Jade ripped them all out of my hands before I had a chance to read them," he explained.

"Well, it said that the date will take place tonight at nine o'clock at Karaoke Dokie. It said to wear something nice because it's going to be our official first date and I already picked us out a song to sing at exactly nine thirty! It's going to be great!' She smiled once more before hurrying off, leaving the group at the table silent.

Beck just watched her leave, her being already gone before he had a chance to object. "Well then," he turned to the table. "I suppose I'm gonna go on a date with her."

"Hey, didn't Trina try this before?" Robbie pointed out. "And didn't we pretend to fight over each other for her?"

"Yeah, we did, didn't we?" Beck shrugged, taking a french fry and eating it. "I suppose it didn't work like we wanted it to or she simply forgot about it."

"Okay," Andre cut in. "Enough with Tori's freak of a sister! I wanna play my song!" He whined like a child who didn't get dessert.

Tori laughed at his fuss, shaking her head. "Then play the song. We're all listening."

"I'm not gonna get interrupted again, am I?" He arched a dark eyebrow to which everyone gave a negative shake of the head. "Good," he huffed, cracking his knuckles before placing his fingers on the white keys.

"Vega!" Boomed in a voice, causing Andre to slam his fingers on the keys in frustration. He grabbed the keyboard and stood with that, walking off, muttering to himself incoherent words that sounded somewhat like profanities.

"Hey, Jade. What's up?" Cat inquired, a gleaming smile on her lips like always.

"The sky," she replied back, causing a laugh to escape the perky redhead.

"That is true! The sky is up! You know, one time, my brother went skydiving and the instructor told him that it was time to jump off the plane but since my brother doesn't like being told what to do, he pushed the instructor off the plane. He's alright though. He had a parachute."

Jade turned to Tori, arching an eyebrow who, in return, just shook her head and shrugged, taking a sip of her water. "What are you doing here?" Robbie inquired to which he received a sharp glare from the goth, a soft squeak of fear escaping past his lips.

"Come with me," the paler girl directed towards the half-Latina.

"No," she whined, "I'm still eating my food."

"I don't care. Come with me," she hissed.

"She said no," Beck now piped in. Jade snapped her attention to the Canadian who shrugged. "If she said no, then leave her alone. Alright?" Tori turned to him, slightly surprised that he stood up to Jade.

He never once stood up to Jade when they were dating but now it was just shocking.

Jade shook off his demand and grabbed Tori's arm, pulling her up and dragging her away quickly. She barely managed to grab her book bag. She groaned as she was pulled by her wrist through the empty corridors for everyone was at lunch. She was practically shoved into the closet and she turned around, watching as the goth slammed the door shut and locked it. She stood in front of it so Tori had no hope in leaving.

"What the Hell, Jade?!" She demanded, throwing her arms up in exasperation at everything that had just occurred. "I said that I didn't want to go with you so you drag me here against my will?"

The paler girl simply rolled her eyes at that, throwing her black bag off her shoulder and onto the floor. "That's not what's important right now, Vega."

"Then tell me what is important."

"Beck," she immediately responded. "Tonight, I want you to make sure that your freak of an older sister doesn't see, talk, and especially doesn't go out with Beck tonight. Got it?"

"Why should I?" The half-Latina inquired. "Why should I help you again? Yet another time with nothing in return?"

"Because Sweet Sally Peaches has a heart too golden to let Beck go out with a demon," she answered in the usual mocking accent she had for Tori.

Not answering with her usual saying of, "I don't talk like that," Tori rolled her eyes before sighing. "I'm serious. I mean, I keep doing all these things for you and I don't get anything in return. A hug, sure, but that's it." She then cracked a smile as a brilliant idea crossed her mind. "Unless… I help you only if you answer my question that I had earlier."

Jade simply stared at Tori with a blank expression before shrugging but it was obvious that she knew what the younger Vega was implying. Tori then shrugged.

"Fine. Then I suppose I won't help you."

A groan of defeat came from the other girl before she sighed, leaning against the wall. "Fine," she sighed once again, relenting. "There are times when in plays, we have to touch each other. When we play husband and wife. When we play good friends. There's no way around that and I'm not going to let you not being allowed to touch me to get in the way of that."

"Yeah, that part is self-explanatory. But what about other times? That time when you weren't sweating or that time during Christmas? I mean, there are plenty of times when I would touch you or grab you and you would just give a sly remark like, 'having fun there' and things like that. What about those times?"

The small room because silent as Tori anticipated a response. "Well, those times. I mean…" Another pregnant pause. "Let's just say you're not as awful as the others."

"What exactly do you mean by that?"

"I mean that I can rely on you. You've helped me more than anyone else. Hell, even Beck hasn't went to the lengths that you go to help me and you've put up with all my crap throughout it all. When you helped me with that play, helped me get back with Beck time and time again. When you allowed me to go to that stupid place even though you had no reason to. When you protected me from that large, stupid woman.

"You've helped me enough times that I have been able to instill more trust in you as opposed to the others and… Well, I suppose that's how I show my gratitude." She finished with that, refusing to look at Tori who appeared to be rendered speechless. She looked up at her a few moments later.

"Well, I told you what was needed to answer the question. Will you help me?" She asked softly. This was the first time Tori had seen her like this. Actually asking and not demanding.

She nodded. "I will… But…"

"But…?"

"But only if you agree to actually attempt to become friends with me."

"I thought we were already friends."

"True friends. Hanging out, sharing stories. Things like that."

"You?" She now inquired with disbelief. "You want to be friends with me? Why? I've been nothing but an asshole to you! I've insulted you, poured coffee on you, attempted to ruin your prom. I've done so much and you still want to be my friend? You might be crazier than Sikowitz!"

"Jade. I've always been trying to be friends with you. Why do I think I always help you but you're the one who says you're not my friend. I've done everything I could to try and establish a friendship with you."

"Yes, but why?"

"Because there's much more to you that I see that a lot of people don't. You've shown weakness to me. You've cried in front of me, became scared. I mean, you might want to show the world that you're a cold hearted bitch but you're not. Not to me, at least. Not anymore. We spent too much time together to prove me otherwise. Yes, you've been a jerk to me and yes, I have countless bruises because of you but you are different.

"We'll do anything you want to do. We won't do something you don't like or something that makes you uncomfortable. I promise you. We'll do anything you'd like as long as you promise you'll truly attempt to be my friend. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out. Just one night. Please?"

Jade wasn't looking at Tori, just staring at the floor. She sighed, thinking it over. While before, a night with just the younger Vega would seem like Hell on Earth but it eventually grew tolerable until the point where she thought that she might actually grew tolerable until the point where she thought that she might actually tolerable until the point where she thought that she might actually enjoy the night together.

"Well?" Tori broke the deafening silence, playing with her fingers. She heard the bell ring, signaling the end of lunch but she had no mind in leaving, desperately wanting, needing an answer to her question.

The paler girl lifted her head, meeting Tori's chocolate gaze before nodding, allowing a smile, however small, form on her lips. "Sure. That sounds good. We'll do it. When and where?"

"I actually didn't think that I would make it this far," she replied truthfully, laughing softly. She just wanted to scream and hug Jade for actually agreeing but she knew that she wouldn't like it. "I have another question for you, if you don't mind."

"Sure, shoot."

"Why do you care so much on who Beck dates if you two are no longer a thing?"

"I don't care who he dates," she responded honestly. "I'm no longer with him. I'm over him. If he wants to date someone, that's fine by me but not Trina. I don't want him to date Trina."

"And why not?"

She now looked at her in disbelief, shaking her head. "Is that really a question, Vega? Your sister is something completely different! She's loud, obnoxious. And you know damn well that she's not going on this date because she actually likes him or cares for him! She's going on this date with some selfish motive of hers. Maybe she wants girls to get jealous of her or maybe this makes her look good. I don't know but Beck deserves a whole lot better than her!

"Even you deserve a better sister than her. I don't know how you stand to tolerate her or how you haven't murdered her yet but…" Jade finished her short rant, running a hand throughout her black hair, "but no one deserves being with her."

"Wow…" The tanner girl mumbled. "I didn't realize you had that much hatred towards her. And I don't tolerate her. Half the time, I wanna strangle her. But, away from her at the moment. Are you sure that you're completely over Beck? Because you said earlier that you were jealous of him and that you weren't over him. Like, let's say you saw him dating the hottest girl in school maybe. Would you actually care?"

"No, Vega, I wouldn't. We've been on and off again and again to the point where we're both sick and tired of it. It's not healthy for us and it was ultimately my decision at the end. I was the one who broke it off with him and despite the fact that there are still anger problems towards each other, it's not because we broke off.

"Besides, maybe I'll find someone else. A different and happier relationship. It'd be better for the both of us but it's not going to be quick. It'll take some time. Perhaps even days, years…" She sighed as she let her walls fall completely. "I don't know, Vega. I don't know."

Tori nodded as she finished talking, more than happy and elated at how much she was opening up, not to mention bewildered at it. "Hey, you know, I can help you find someone if you want," she suggested, hoping she would accept for it would give her a chance to get to know the goth better and it would hopefully allow them to become closer.

However, to her disappointment, Jade shook her head. "Seeing you with all those boys and you getting dumped again and again, I'll refuse your offer. No offense, well, no. Anyways, you have a horrible taste in men, Vega," she shrugged, concluding the conversation as she grabbed her bag and swung it over her shoulder, unlocking the door and leaving Tori alone to think about what information was given to her.

She sighed and leaned against the wall, not in the mood to go to her next class. She slid down the wall and stared at the opposite one, taking in what was said. Jade had opened up to her. Out of all people. Her. Tori Vega. She didn't open up to Robbie, Andre, Cat. Beck, she wasn't actually too certain about but a part of her truly doubted that she would or did for that matter.

A sense of accomplishment and joy filled her chest and she wanted nothing more than to scream to the Heavens in success. This was just a start, however. They had more area to cover. She had agreed to attempt to become friends with her. True friends. And she hoped more than anything that the time would go well and that there will be more to follow after and more after that.

This made the Latina giddy with hope and happiness. If it was a success, more things would surely come, right? Tori knew she wouldn't take anything but definitely as an answer.

She stood, light in her step as she thought of the ways to get Trina not to go out with Beck. It would definitely be a challenge but she hoped that she would be successful. However, she might have to consider getting help. Only the Lord knew how difficult the task would be. She was stubborn but the younger one could be the same, perhaps even more.

Maybe a few friends wouldn't be needed. Perhaps her fathers new "tools" that he just got on his job. That could definitely be beneficial. But how would she be able to without her father arresting her?

"Trina! He doesn't want to go out with you! What don't you get?!"

"No! What don't you get?! You're so damn jealous of me all the time that you insist on destroying all of my relationships! How do you know he doesn't want to go out with this hunk of ass? That's right! You don't!"

"Yes! I do know! Because he's my friend! Besides, he's not even over the breakup with Jade yet! So why don't you just give him some space to actually think before you jump down his throat and force him to date you?"

The older Vega said nothing, shoving her sister aside as she grew more annoyed. She rushed to the door and Tori ran towards it, getting in front of it. "Move."

"No. Besides, Tori, things change. The older birds have to leave the nest. Like me," she grinned as she managed to open the door. She took a step out only to bump into someone. Stumbling back, she realized who it was and her face grew pale. Jade was standing there, a dark gleam in her eyes and a pair of large scissors that Cat gave her in her hand.

"Now where are you going, all dressed up?" She inquired.

"N-no where. I was just meeting up with a friend," Trina stuttered.

"Don't lie. We all know that you don't have any friends. You were planning to go on a date with Beck, weren't you? You know I read your letters. Now…" She shoved Trina back into the house fully, Tori remaining silent as she watched the ordeal. "You stay home and leave Beck alone. Or else."

"O-or else what?" She stammered out, causing Jade's eyebrows to rise and her to smirk,

"Or else… I'll shove this pair of large scissors I just sharpened right up where the sun don't shine and stab them into places you didn't even know you had. Got it?"

Trina nodded, the fear disappearing as she practically shrugged her off. Whether her being an idiot or her being brave, she held no fear as she went to leave the house. A sharp cry escaped Trina as she was shoved into the wall, the door slamming shut. She felt cold steel being pressed against her throat and she gulped, staring into the goth's eyes as she kept her scissors there, beginning to dig into the skin slightly, eliciting a whimper from the older Vega.

As though she just remembered that it wasn't her and Jade there, she whipped her head around, meeting Tori's gaze. "So you're just gonna stand around and do nothing when your dearly loved older sister is being threatened by a psychopath with scissors?!" She accused in disbelief.

Tori shrugged. "You better do what she says before I don't have a dearly loved older sister anymore," she responded, beginning to walk to the connected kitchen. "Hey, Jade, would you like anything to drink?" She inquired casually.

"Yeah. Some lemonade would be nice," she answered to which Trina let out a noise of disbelief, the scissor still to her throat.

"Tori! I'm being threatened! The scissor is on my throat and she looks like she's about to slit it! Tori! Are you listening?!"

The younger Vega closed the fridge door, holding a pitcher of lemonade in her hand. "I'm sorry, what?" She inquired innocently, a smirk playing on her lips for she knew it would annoy her sister even more.

Jade shoved Trina away, keeping a tight grip on the scissors as she sat down on the couch. "Thanks," she muttered as she was handed a glass of the beverage. She kept an eye on the older Vega, however, the look directed towards her ensuring that she wouldn't do anything to leave, the uncomfortable face she received in return amusing the goth.

Tori walked over with her own glass, sitting down next to Jade as she turned on a movie, elated at the fact that the goth didn't stand and go to the other side or that she didn't shove her off like she did other times.

The hope that was apparent earlier began to reappear, warming the singer to her toes. She was attempting to be friends with her to establish a true friendship.

Tori suddenly felt a need to place her head on Jade's shoulder and at that thought, she felt her face heat up. She knew that the goth's attention was on her older sister and she was glad that she didn't notice.

Sighing, she turned her attention to the movie that had started. She had just put on a random one, not even noticing that it was in black and white. She felt herself begin to doze off in boredom but was too content sitting next to the goth to move.

Trina stood there, watching as the minutes passed by to eventually an hour. She saw Jade enveloped in the movie and she attempted to quietly leave, only for her voice to assault her hearing. "If you leave, you'll come back a year later from waking up from a coma. Do you understand me?" She hissed. The older of the sisters looked to the younger one, seeing that she was asleep. She then thought of something.

"You know my father is a cop, right?" She smirked as she knew now she would be able to escape. "He'll arrest you if you do something to me."

The goth scoffed at that, rolling her eyes. "Please. I'd be doing him a favor. We all know that. Besides, I've been able to bribe cops before. They're rather easy to persuade. So either fuck off before I end up giving your dad five grand."

She gulped, wanting to see if she was bluffing but not truly wishing to. She nodded and dropped her purse, forgetting it as she rushed upstairs, wanting to be as far away from the maniac as possible.

Now alone, Jade turned towards the movie, rolling her eyes and groaning as she saw a man and woman making out on screen. She looked over to her side, noticing that the Latina was asleep.

Her dark eyebrows furrowed as she took in her features that she hadn't taken the time to truly look and observe.

The first thing she noticed were her lips. They were slightly apart and she had a beautiful peach shade. Carefully running her thumb along the bottom lip as not to wake her, she was actually rather surprised that she didn't have any lipstick on. Just lip gloss.

She then went to her nose. It was small with light freckles along the bridge that was barely noticeable to the human eye. She couldn't help but smirk at the small features.

Then she went to her eyelids. They were fluttering ever so often in her sleep and she froze when they opened suddenly before closing again. The last thing Jade needed was Tori waking up and seeing her watching her.

She shifted back, realizing what she had been doing, embarrassed and shocked at herself. She shook her head, absentmindedly staring at the movie as she began to fall asleep, leaning her head against the couch, content and comfortable.

Jade was the first to wake up the next morning. Taking out her phone, she looked at the time. Barely even eight in the morning. Groaning, she went to get up but stopped once she felt something- someone- leaning against her arm and a groan escaped that person's mouth when they were moved.

Tori's head was resting on her shoulder, her breath on her neck that caused pleasant shivers to go up and down her body.

Tilting her head, the goth noticed that the door was unlocked. Trina had managed to sneak out and sneak back in for she knew that the parents were out on another vacation. Probably desperate to get away from Trina again.

She would have to use her scissors on her if she found out that she found Beck and forced him to go on a date with her. It shouldn't be too difficult. Trina was more than likely weaker than what she was. Also, Jade knew how to use any form of weapons all too much. She had plenty experience with them.

Rolling her neck, she sighed and carefully moved Tori off of her, placing her head gently on the cushion, not wishing to wake her up. Even her gentle touch that she was using was truly surprising to her.

Vega was lighter than what she thought she was. Much lighter. And she found herself wanting to know more about her classmate.

She reviewed what she went over last night, taking it all into memory. Jade began to raise her hand, turning her attention to the cheekbones that everyone pointed out. She had to admit. They were nice looking. She carefully ran her index finger along the contour of the bone, her finger beginning to tingle slightly as she did so.

She trailed her hand lower, taking in her jawline, feeling each shape and curve. She went down her neck, her eyes trailing with her finger to her collarbone. She hesitated only slightly before reaching her upper chest and down in between the valley of her breasts.

Lifting up the purple blouse she had on, she looked at her toned stomach. She had saw it once before in the RV when they got stuck and she had caught herself staring. Swallowing, she stopped herself and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her towards her as she felt herself begin to grow comfortable yet again.

Only right after did Jade fall asleep was when the singer woke up. She was met with he sight of black hair and she noticed that Jade's arm was wrapped around her. She also took note of the fact that she had fallen, or was still, asleep so she considered not moving to wake her the best option. Besides, se was comfortable.

The arm around her and how close she was to the goth definitely surprised her. Whether or not she had been conscious when allowing herself to be so close to Tori made no difference to the tanner girl. She was over the moon with joy at how the moment was unfolded. Of course, she would never let Jade know.

Being around her was walking on egg shells. She had to ensure that she wouldn't do anything wrong or let anything slip that would result in Jade leaving but she didn't mind it. If it resulted in more moments like this, she couldn't care less on what she did.

As she became more conscious and less in her dream like state, a tingle lingered on her skin as though someone had recently touched her. It was on her face, definitely, and slightly evident on her stomach. The cold air hitting against her bare skin made her realize that her shirt was up. She pushed it down, careful not to disturb the sleeping figure besides her.

Tori knew the familiar tingle. She got it whenever one of the boys she had went out with touched her. And no tingle felt the same. This one felt oh so good and she knew she couldn't have left it. So the only person was… Jade. That thought immediately became ludicrous and she shook her head. But she couldn't deny the fact that it was the best feeling she ever felt. She wanted more.

But as she thought about it, would Jade truly touch her? She was quite literally in Jade's arms. Well, arm and the goth was practically snuggled up to her. That immediately made her face begin to heat up.

Perhaps she was still clinging onto Beck and she simply didn't wish to admit it yet. After all, their relationship was going on for who knows how long. And whilst the two had plenty of ups and downs, she knew that they did deeply care, and maybe even at one point, love each other. Whatever it was, if this was how she needed comfort, she would happily give it to Jade.

Actually, many scenarios would more than likely result in her giving Jade something. But she found out that she didn't truly mind it.

Tori let out a groan when she felt Jade stir. While she did want to make a connection with her, she didn't want the moments to end so abruptly. She pulled away from her and stood before the paler girl came to her senses.

Feeling the movement beside her, it took her a few moments to realize that the Latina was moving away from her. That was when she began to wonder if Tori had put the pieces together on what she had done or if she was completely oblivious to the situation as a whole. She hoped that it was the second. She didn't want tori to question why she did it for she lacked the answer herself.

"Morning," Tori greeted her from the kitchen. "Would you like any breakfast? I have eggs, bacon, pancakes. How about some raisin bran?" She smiled as she said it in the accent that she had done when they went to Sikowitz's house.

"Ugh," Jade responded and stood. "If you shove that in my mouth, Vega, I swear to God."

Tori snickered and placed the cereal back on the shelf. "But really, would you like any breakfast?"

"No. No, I'm fine. I have to go and make sure that your demon and mistake of a sister didn't go out with Beck last night. The door was unlocked when I woke up which meant that she snuck out and then back in." With that, Jade stood and left after ensuring that she had her scissors.

She watched her leave without a chance of saying goodbye. She sighed and began looking in the fridge for something to eat, disappointed.

To say that she was confused to where the great disappointment was coming from was an understatement. She didn't know where any of the recent feelings that were occurring were coming from. Shrugging and deciding to think not much of it, she took a banana from a bowl and headed upstairs to the spend the Saturday in her room.

Jade, on the other hand, was sitting against the front door, debating whether or not she should just forget about Beck and accept Tori' invitation for breakfast. That did sound nice and she regretted the instant refusal now that she was thinking it over.

Sighing, she ran a hand through her pitch black hair and turned to her car, standing and getting into her car, driving off.

She was just driving around, not having a specific destination in mind despite what she had told Tori. Whilst she was curious if Beck went on a date with Trina, she wanted to spare herself such drama. No such luck, however. Her body and car had the complete opposite in mind when she pulled up to Beck's RV.

Sighing, she saw the light on inside, showing that Beck was there. Getting out, she didn't make a move to go towards it, debating before she finally gave in. She went towards the RV and knocked five times, indicating it was her.

Noticing the pattern, Beck sighed. He was laying down so he didn't feel like getting up. If Jade wanted to, she could easily get in, with or without a key. "So you decided that you didn't want the arguments just to remain at school?" He accused.

A pause before she responded. "no. I was just wondering if you went on that date with Trina last night," she answered honestly.

Beck scoffed at that. "it's none of your business with who I go out with anymore. We're no longer together. And one of the reasons why is because you were always a jealous girlfriend. Even now that we're not dating, you're still a jealous person!" There was no response and just for the heck of it, Beck smirked. "So what if I didn't go out with her? Maybe I'll go on the next date with her that I suggest!"

At that, he heard a loud bang and knew, without even looking, that she had barged in. "I'm trying to be nice. Show that I still care for you even if we aren't together," she hissed at him. He looked up at her and smirked.

"How sweet," he mocked her. "But since we're no longer together…"

"What the Hell does that have to do with anything?!"

"It has to do with everything."

"Explain."

"Pretty self explanatory, don't you think?"

Her eyes narrowed and he laughed as he sat up. "You and me," he began, "are no longer together. We are not part of each others lives anymore. Therefore, we do not need to know who the other one dates and we do not have to tell one another something if we don't want to."

Silence. Jade glared at him, about to say something before she was cut off. "I don't need to tell you anything. And just because you can't accept that fact does not mean you can just break into my RV."

Jade scoffed in sheer disbelief as she threw her hands up in the air. "I just think you deserve someone better than Trina! That's why I didn't want you to go on that date with her!"

Beck got off the bed and stood, walking over to her as he looked down at her. "You're right," he mumbled. "I do deserve someone better than Trina. And with all the crap I had to go through when I was with you… I deserve someone better than you. I deserve someone better than you who is never satisfied. Never happy. Never thinking about me but her own self with her selfish motives."

The goth stood there, the familiar feeling of hurt beginning to form in her chest. Her walls, however, prevented the hurt from being shown. She was thankful for that. The last thing she needed was Beck to see his ex-girlfriend of several years to break down in front of him.

She gave him a curt nod, not trusting her voice so she simply turned around and left without a word, the door being shut behind her. Entering her car, she sat there in silence, thinking about what he said.

She wanted to cry. Wanted to scream, shout, break whatever she could. She wanted… Tori. She wanted to go back to Tori and allow herself to comfort her like she had done so many times before. Reassure her that everything would eventually be alright. Shaking her head, she knew she had bothered her too much. After all, she was what Beck described her as. A selfish girl with selfish motives thinking about only herself.

God, how many times has she heard that? From her mother, father and now her ex? She never intended to be selfish but it appeared that was what everyone saw her as.

And while half the time she never thought twice about what people said to her or about her, she was in a very fragile state of mind that could shatter with the slightest nudge or the slightest breeze.

She didn't decided to go in the direction of her home. She had no will to. She would clear her mind with road trips with no destination in mind and that was exactly what she planned to do.

Turning on the radio, she got into her car and pulled out of the driveway, telling herself that she would never step another foot on that property.

To say Tori was bored was a complete understatement. She had just finished texting Robbie, Cat, and Andre and all of them were doing something. She was desperate enough to hang out with her older sister but even she was gone for the Saturday, having left a few minutes earlier.

She skipped over Beck's name, figuring he didn't want to do anything before reaching Jade's contact. Tapping on it, she pulled up the messenger app and texted, "Hey, it's Tori. Did Beck go out with Trina last night?" She doubted Jade had her number since they never texted before and the only reason she had the goth's number was because the Canadian gave it to her.

It barely took even a minute before she got a response of no. She was happy about that and glad that Jade had texted back so quickly. Perhaps she could past the hours talking to her. She was desperate to find out more but she knew she had to be careful so she wouldn't drive away. However, the hope disappeared once she got another text. "Can't talk right night."

Tori huffed in response, hesitating before responding, "kay. Talk in a bit? 😊." No response. It showed that the message had sent but wasn't delivered, indicating that Jade either blocked her or turned off her phone. More than likely it was the second of the two.

Scrolling through the lists of names, she came across Beck's again. She stopped, knowing, feeling that something was wrong. She now saw that Jade had read it and she immediately began typing. "What's wrong? I'm sure I can get Trina to find some other boy to obsess over besides Beck." She sent that, tapping her thumb nervously on her phone.

Her hands were shaking slightly. "Jade. I know you're reading these. Something's wrong. Please, tell me. I wanna help you. I really do."

She smiled in success when the three dots showed up for Jade. However, the smile faltered and disappeared when she read the message. "I don't give a shit about Beck anymore. If he wants to date Trina, let him date her. It's not gonna affect me anymore. As far as I'm concerned, they can do whatever the fuck they want."

Her eyes scanned over the words again and again. She groaned before she pulled up Beck's name, needing to fix whatever happened between the two.

Now convinced that Beck did go on a date with her older sister, she thought about the best way to approach him. She was going to keep it simple and act as though she didn't know anything. "Hey. How'd the date with Trina go last night?"

It didn't take long before she got an answer of, "there was no date. At least, not yet anyways."

Tori arched an eyebrow at that, now completely confused. Jade was obviously upset with Beck about something but the fact that Beck didn't go on the date… Yet. He had yet to go on the date. He probably told Jade that he's going on a date just to piss her off. There were still holes though because that didn't sound like Beck. At all. Maybe a different approach will reveal some answers.

"How's Jade doing? Did she contact you at all? I tried to text her earlier but she said she couldn't talk at the moment."

The next text could easily convince Tori that someone stole Beck's phone and was playing a joke.

"Jade and I are no longer on speaking terms. I don't care how she's doing nor do I know. She is not a part of my life anymore and she won't be again. Not even as a friend. She's too toxic of a person."

"So… That's it? You don't care about her anymore?"

"No. I don't. She's not my concern and I hope she never is again."

"What happened between you two for this to happen?"

"Nothing different happened. Jade was being her same old self. Jade was just Jade. End of story."

The singer sighed and just gave up, knowing that it was unlikely that she was going to get anywhere. She laid down in her bed, staring at the ceiling. She wanted to help the both of them. Just because neither were together didn't mean that they could stop being friends.

Beginning to fall asleep, she kept her mind on the goth, wanting to comfort her, knowing that this would definitely hurt her.

Going on her side, she curled into a ball, not caring if it was barely even noon. She was exhausted and as she fell asleep, her final thoughts were of Jade.


	2. Chapter 2

Tori wasn't aware of much upon finally waking up. Her phone was on two percent, her mind was hazy along with her vision and passing out on the couch yet again was taking a rather uncomfortable toll on her. All she knew was that she was tired and she wasn't even taking notice of her phone ringing. She felt the vibration and grabbed the phone only to make it shut up until she read the name of who was calling her. "Hey, Andre," she smiled upon answering despite the fatigue in her voice.

"Good morning, chica," he laughed from the other side as greeting, his ever so cheerful attitude pushing away the lingering sleepiness. "You know the play that Sikowitz is doing? Night and Day? Well, he asked me to write a few songs for it so I was wondering if you'd like to spend the weekend over my house to help me get some ideas."

"Yeah, yeah! That sounds great! When should I head over?"

"Whenever you want. Don't forget to pack a bag for the nights. We'll head to school together on Monday. Does that sound good?"

"Sounds better than me just sitting bored in my room listening to Trina. Yeah. Thank you," Tori smiled. "I'll see you in about twenty minutes." She hung up with hat, glad to have an excuse to get out of the house. IT was always nice to spend time with Andre. His happy go lucky attitude was fun to be around and to make a song with him was never something she'd be willing to pass up. So she was ecstatic that he had presented her with such an opportunity as this.

Upon setting down her phone, it instantly died. She ignored it, figuring she'd charge it on the way to Andre's house now that she had a car and a driver's license. But for now, she needed to focus on freshening up. She didn't even notice that Trina had began to watch her until she heard her pipe up. "Where are you going in such a hurry?"

"I'm meeting up with Andre today. We're gonna write a song for the new musical at school," she answered, finishing packing her bag. If she wasn't in a hurry, she would have asked what Trina was doing in her room but she wasn't too concerned about it.

"Can I come? Please, please, please? I'm starting song writing myself and I'd love it if he could look over some of my songs. I mean, I already know they're perfect because," she laughed, "I'm so talented in so many areas, probably already better than him. Not to say that he's good but I mean, with he things that I already came up with, I'm more than certain that I passed him. Just don't tell him that of course until he reads my work. Then he'll be able to see my true genius without me telling it to him despite it obviously being the truth, if you know what I mean."

Tori, like many other times in her life, had simply blocked her older sister's ramblings out of her head, mumbling to herself what she needed to get, thinking it over in her mental checklist. Slinging the bag over her shoulder, she left her seemingly oblivious older sister rambling in her room. She headed downstairs and left the house, completely forgetting her phone that had been left on the coffee table, uncharged.

A car remained on the side of the highway, about twenty miles away from where the owner lived. The goth was asleep in the backseat, having pulled over the night before due to exhaustion, the events crashing down on her. Noticing the need of a bathroom, food and an outlet, she started to head back to a local café. It was empty, which was surprising since it was only ten in the morning. She got herself a coffee, black, as she preferred it before sitting down at a couch, plugging in the phone. The only notifications were from minor texts that barely caught her attention except for a singular one from a certain Latina. It had been sent to her after she had turned her phone off. "I don't know what happened between you and Beck because when I called, he seemed angry. But if you need to talk, I'm always here 😊." Jade couldn't help the smile that formed upon the one in the text message. She would never admit it but Tori always had a way about her that would cheer her up. However, the smile didn't remain long. Jade decided it was just the fatigue that caused her to react the way she did. Nothing more. Nothing less. She refused to believe that she found happiness from a stupid text from Vega out of all people. So why did it… mean something? She shook her head at the troublesome thought, taking a sip of the pure black liquid.

Scrolling through "The Slap", Jade came across a post from Beck. Well, more like a status update that read, "Beck Oliver's relationship has change from 'in a relation' to 'newly single'". Reading this over, a prick of both anger and sadness formed in her heart and she could not bear the feeling that was growing. The ache she had felt before but never to an extent as great as the one transpiring. It felt as though her very soul had been ripped from her chest and the feeling of overwhelming followed by suffocation refused to leave her. Setting her phone down, she buried her face in her hands, tears of both bitterness and sorrow flooding past the path that had long been dried. She despised the thought of crying, nonetheless, the act of doing so but the lack of perseverance showed that she was too emotionally broken to hold back the anger and the emotions life always had waiting to bombard her with.

But Jade knew well leaving her emotions for only herself to handle was a death sentence all on its own. Whether for the people around her or herself. Whilst it was never as intense as anger, it was just as dangerous, maybe even moreso. Finding any sharp object was never a difficult task especially due to her collection of scissors that were easily found. She had been hospitalized more than once, found with a pair of scissor s in her hand, fresh blood along the sharp blades. But lately she found herself an escape from the self-harm. Lately she found that she had someone to go to that she never had before.

Ever since Tori had been going to the high school, she found that her emotions could be subdued by the Latina, that they wouldn't be as destructive. And she hadn't been ever to discover the faintest idea as to why that was necessarily the case. But approaching, she was always so hesitant to do so. She knew well that she didn't deserve her kindness, her support or anything else for that matter and that was what stopped her. She was always the bitch to Tori, even upon first meeting her, even when she knew absolutely _nothing _about her, she always came up with _something _to abuse her with. Yet even though all of it, Tori still wished to be friends with her. Whether she was ludicrous or determined as all Hell, Jade had yet to find out.

That wasn't the issue at the moment though. The issue was her mind and emotions turning on her and only one person being able to stop her from driving her car into oncoming traffic. Picking up her phone, she headed down to the contact labeled "Vega" before opening the conversation that had ended with a smiley face. Staring at it, she couldn't help the bitter smile that formed before she swallowed her pride, beginning to type something out. "Is the offer for breakfast still available? I'll even have the raison bran but I'd like to talk to you if that's alright". After sending, she set her phone back down, hoping that she would respond. If it took too long, no doubt she would just show up to her house like always. After a few minutes of no response and checking again and again, waiting rather anxiously for the three bubbles to appear, the goth stood and left the café, driving to the address she knew by heart now.

By the time she arrived, about two hours had already passed and she figured that Tori would be awake and have answered by now. As she idled by the house, she tapped impatiently against the phone as it turned on. A bitter sigh of frustration escaped her to which she exited the car and headed to the house. She knocked on the door, waiting for answer and her bad mood soured even more when Tori's bigger sister had received the call.

"J-Jade," she stuttered, "what are you doing here?"

The goth invited herself in, walking -or rather shoving- past Trina. "Is Tori still asleep? I wanna talk to her."

"No. She left to Andre's house about three hours ago," came the answer. She stopped, a devilish thought forming. "She didn't come home since yesterday. She had told me that she went to Beck's to see how he was doing after a fight between you and him." Trina, beforehand, had caught sight of Tori's phone and decided to snoop through it after charging it. Thank God she did.

"She hasn't come back? Did she spend the night over?"

"I think so," Trina said innocently. "Maybe she was… helping him with something? I'm not sure. She left her phone here." While her voice seemed pure enough, there was an underlying tone that told Jade that the something with Beck might be something she didn't like.

"Help him? With homework?"

"Maybe," she replied slyly now. "I remember overhearing something about her helping him feel better. But I Think she was indicating something more than just talking." If that didn't hit Jade's fears on the head, nothing else would. However, upon plunking down on the couch, she caught sight of Tori's phone. Turning it on and thanking God that there wasn't a password on it, she began to scroll through the messages that had been sent to Beck that night. Reading through them, she let out a breath of relief upon not finding any evidence of her being invited over, nonetheless, a one night stand. After, she went through the calls and found out that the only call to Beck had been only a week ago and they were still together. Jade was at ease.

Something in the pit of her stomach told her that she hadn't been worried of Beck having a one night stand but it was the person he was having it with. It was as though she despised the thought of Tori being with him. Not due to the fact that she was Tori but because the one Tori was with wasn't… Her. Jade was shocked to have even conjured up such a thought. Her and… Vega?! How insane was this?! Not to mention that both were straight or at the very least, Tori was. The goth had her fair share of girlfriends. None of them had lasted but they definitely existed. So was the possibility of Jade liking her even there? Even… in the slightest?

There was the ringing of the doorbell that pulled Tori and Andre from their songwriting. "Were you expecting anyone else to join?" Tori inquired to which the darker boy shook his head. He stood and opened the door, surprised to see Jade there. Upon seeing who it was, Tori walked over. "Hey. How'd you know I was here?"

"I managed to coax Trina into telling me where you were. Also, you forgot your phone." She handed it to her to which the half-Latina took it gratefully. "Hey. I was wondering if you and I could do something today. Just the two of us."

At this proposition, the pair of friends were deemed shocked to say the very least. The singer was the first to come to her senses. "I-… Umm. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds great actually. Where?" She inquired, now stepping outside as she found it rather rude to exclude Andre from the conversation despite it being his own house. He, on the other hand, didn't seem to mind it too much. He was glad that Jade seemed to be opening up more.

"I was thinking Karaoke Dokie. What do you say? It'll be my treat."

"Yeah. Now?" A nod of confirmation.

"I'll drive you. Come on." She took her hand, having meaning to grab her wrist but not regretting it in the slightest. And it wasn't as though Tori seemed to mind. If she did, then she would have said something but this information sent a strange wave of confidence throughout the goth and she found difficulty in concealing a smile.

The ride there was quiet and taking a glance at Tori, she saw that se looked rather deep in thought. The tanner girl was looking out the window, completely absorbed. Her hand was still warm from being in the grip of the other and she found herself wanting nothing more than to just take her hand again, but it was simply an accident. Nothing more, nothing less. It didn't seem that way to her. Why didn't it seem that way? It had occurred a few other times so why was there the sudden flutter in her chest? The tingle in her hand and her heart throbbing for so much more? She shook her head free from the thought, sighing tiredly as she placed her forehead in her hand, closing her eyes. IT was stupid to even think of it, even consider it. She was straight. She had a considerate amount of boyfriends and besides, even if she did feel something, she wouldn't do anything about it to being with. Jade was hurting, whether or not she wished to admit it. She could read Jade well now, look into her green eyes and tell immediately what she was feeling. And it was hurt. It was intermingled with an emotion that she only saw a few times before but the main aspect was that Jade was hurting and to bombard her would be horrid. Adding the fact that she didn't know if she was gay or bi was an entirely different variable.

Hearing a rather defeated sigh, the black haired girl glanced over at Tori. "Is something wrong?" she inquired. The other didn't seem to hear and she pulled over to the side of the road. "Vega, look at me. Is something wrong?" Tori glanced up, finally being pulled from her thoughts. She nodded.

"No. I'm fine. I was just thinking, is all," she responded. "I'm sorry. Once I start, it takes a lot for me to stop."

A pregnant pause. "What were you thinking about to be pulled from reality so much?"

An answer of "you" was what she wanted to respond but catching herself, she shook her head. "Me and my problems with boys. I can't seem to keep a date and I was just wondering if there was something wrong with me."

"Nothing."

"Huh?"

"There's nothing wrong with you. There isn't a single. Fucking. Thing wrong with you. Boys are stupid. If they are to leave someone as good as you, then there's something wrong with them. So don't think for a second anything's wrong with you. Something's wrong with them."

Tori soaked in this information. Hearing it from Jade gave so much extra meaning to the words especially because she knew she wouldn't say it to try and make her feel better. Jade was nowhere near like that. "Thank you," Tori whispered.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't mention it and if don't say a word about this to anyone. Got it, Vega?"

"I promise. On my grandmother's grave. Now let's get going. I'm hungry," she smiled. Jade smirked and rolled her eyes before heading off again. 'Jade. Jade West was nice to _me_?' Tori inquired to herself. 'She hates me. She hates me, my guts, me, everything about me! So why did she tell me this? She wasn't lying. There was truth behind her words, I know that. So why…? She didn't have to say anything. Is what she said before about being a friend true? Is she really trying to be friends?' Tori relaxed at that thought and turned her head from the driver to hide her forming smile, warmth spreading from her heart throughout her body, hope intermixed. This wasn't in vein. Jade was trying, she was being nice. She smiled more and closed her eyes, holding back a giddy noise.

Jade glanced over when she saw a smile from the reflection of the window. Seeing that her eyes were closed, she allowed her own smirk to form. Now stopped at a red light, she looked down at the hand that was right by her thigh. She hesitated before taking it into her own hand, intertwining her fingers with hers, her own hand trembling with nervousness.

Tori felt the hand that took her own, stirring her once again from her thoughts. Opening her eyes and shifting her gaze to Jade, she watched as the green orbs remained locked on the road, as though intentionally ignoring her. But she didn't see the hand being held as a sign of affection but rather the goth's call for help to distract her from the recent loss. Jade had told her that she was over Beck. That might be true but the fact didn't erase years worth of a relationship, no matter how on and off it was. With that thought, she refused to rip away the comfort she was providing and merely thought the tremble of her hand was due to suppressed sadness, never from nervousness as it was rare the teen beside her would become so anxious to where she was literally shaking.

Like before, the trip was silent and upon arriving, the two got a table and ordered. Tori was the one to break the rather comfortable and friendly silence. "Were you planning on singing?"

"I was," she nodded. She then glanced up. "Were you planning on joining me?"

A rather elated smile crossed Tori's features and she nodded. "Yeah, sure. I'd love to. Wanna go searched for a song?" With a nod, the two departed. Upon finding a song, they waited for their turn. To say the song that Jade selected wasn't one for her taste was an understatement but to sing a duet with her was nice, especially for the song and it appeared that throughout the lyrics, she was getting closer.

The final lines came up as the Backstreet Boys' song began to close. "As long as you love me…" Jade finished, the two looking at each other, staring into each other's eyes. It was as though both were intoxicated, enveloped. By how close they were, their bodies barely inches apart, their faces the same, both found an inclination to just fill that gap keeping them from the other. There was a silence as the final chords played before the audience erupted into cheers. Tori jumped slightly before turning away, smiling as she got off the stage. Upon watching the retreating figure, Jade let out a solemn sigh, setting the mic down before following. "Where are you going?" she asked as Tori wasn't heading back to their table.

"Bathroom. I'll be back in a few minutes," she responded before heading off. The goth huffed and sat down, realizing that she had started to tremble again. They had been so close. So, so close. If she could have just grabbed her, pulled her body less than ten inches closer, feel it pressed up against her own. If she could just… tell her what she barely knew herself to begin with. Another huff as she felt her cheeks heat up. No. She didn't feel anything, nothing. She was lonely. That was all she was. Once she would be able to fully get over Beck, she could forget Tori but the warmth that had been left in her hand since the car ride lingered. She clenched it and brought it to her lips, a curse escaping past them now.

"Damn it, Vega. What the Hell are you doing to me? Why must you be doing this to me? For revenge? Trying to get back at me?" She smirked. "Yeah, that must be it. You finally got sick of my shit and now you've found a way to emotionally manipulate me and make my life a living Hell now whenever I'm near you. Is that it? That must be it." A phone vibrated on the table and Jade took it, seeing it was Tori's phone. Trina was calling her and she hesitated before she was about to answer. But just before she could, the Latina came back, picking up the phone that Jade put down upon seeing her return.

"Hey Trina. What is it? Really? Mmhmm." Tori seemed annoyed, rolling her eyes at the nonsensical blabbering from her sister as the goth watched from over the rim of her glass. "Wait? You broke your arm and you decided to call me instead of an ambulance? Uh huh. Alright. I'll meet you there. Yeah. Yeah. Bye." Tori sighed as she hung up. "Trina fell down the stairs trying out heels and she broke her arm. Care to drive me back to Andre's so I can get my car and things?"

"So you're deciding to leave your food here and not finish it and cut this time with me short?" Jade arched an eyebrow.

"She's my sister and she broke her arm."

"She's annoying and she broke her arm by doing something stupid," she responded, a chuckle escaping Tori as she hook her head. She took a bite out of her sandwich, nodding.

"Good point. She would have mentioned if it was bleeding so I think she'll be fine. But I still would feel guilty if I didn't meet her at the hospital. So please?"

"Rain check then?" She inquired, giving into Tori like she did so many other times before.

She nodded and smiled, getting g her food to go. The drive back was nice, filled with conversation, pleasant. Tori thanked Jade before getting into her own car and driving off. She tapped on the steering wheel, thinking about the past few hours. It wasn't what she expected and she was definitely pleasantly surprised. Her left hand tingled and her smiled broadened at the thought of her hand clasped in a surprisingly warm one of Jade's. She saw the light turn green and she drove forward, not seeing the other car that had ran the red light on the other side. The only thing she was aware of was the sound of the car crushing into hers, the sharp pain in her back and the glass digging into the side of her face, passing out even before the flames formed. The cars had caught on fire, black smoke filling the air. The way the cars had crushed, gasoline trickled out and the flames caught the flammable liquid, several seconds of silence before an explosion deafened everything around it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: **

Chaos. Complete and utter chaos. Nothing was definable, nothing was happening yet everything was at the same time. Time seemed to be fooling them. It was going far too quickly yet not fast enough, becoming an incomprehensible blur here and there while other images just stuck and seemed to imprint themselves. The montage of blood, screams, tears. It was utter chaos but yet it wasn't. It fit together perfectly despite the fact major gaps were missing. But now, all was missing. The chaos had stopped.

Room 103, located in the ICU on the first floor. Five teens stood in front of the closed door, waiting impatiently, fearing the worst yet hoping for the best. They were calm, far too calm visually but in the inside, it was a whirlwind of emotions with fear as the tyrant and sadness as its partner in crime. But there was an absentee from the group who had received the same message as everyone else from the cop. The text was short, holding so much power in four words. _Tori's in the hospital. _The suddenness, not the message, was the reason for the panic. And rightfully so. Even upon entering the hospital, local news was already covering the horrific crash. The car was easily identifiable. It was the extent of the damage that was worrying them all.

Perhaps it would be a miracle. Yes. Those horrific incidents that occur and yet somehow the victim walks away with nothing more than a scratch. That is possible. Right. So why were the doctors staying in the room so long? Why was there black over the window of the door? What was it hiding? Keeping from them? Maybe a surprise. Surprises are always good. There's no such thing as a bad surprise… Right?

Twelve, then one, two… The vacant seats in the waiting room were now filled with the students from Hollywood Arts, the fear keeping them alert, not allowing anyone to fall into sleep's embrace. Three… Four… Each tick of the clock was the only sound in the room. Tick… Tock… Tick… Tock… Slow, much too slow, drawling. Repetitive. Five… Two had passed out from utter exhaustion. Six… The final phone was dead. Seven… The bell rang and school began.

Jade entered the school, her phone buried deep into her bag as though she could hide the words hat had been sent to her over ten hours ago. Despite the fact that she deleted the text message, something compelled her to just tuck it beneath the textbooks and extra sweater she had for particularly cold classrooms.

The sender of the message was from an unknown number, a number she had never seen before. So why should she ever take it seriously? A prank was all it was. In jest. That's all. In jest. That's all it shall ever be. She didn't give her numbers out to strangers and she had just saw Tori. How much trouble could she get in a day? She didn't reckon a lot. But Tori always managed to shock her. Buts he was predictable. An oxymoron and it frustrated the absolute Hell out of Jade. Upon entering the school, she immediately went to the area where they met by the stairs. Taking notice that no one was there, she headed to Tori's locker, the locker dim, not even turned on. It was strange, unnerving. As soon as Tori entered school, the first thing she'd do was turn on the locker so that meant she wasn't at school. Sometimes, if she wasn't in the hallway, she would be at Sikowitz's or another class but would never once leave her locker off, even if she didn't get anything out of it. She had only been absent a few times before. That was all but she would have known ahead of time since she told everyone in advance. Nothing added up. Well, it did but it was the conclusion Jade refused to accept.

She headed over to her locker and shoved her bag into it, sighing. It was Monday; she was tired, irritated, and she wanted nothing more than to sleep. Forget about everything. But this also made her realize something. It was quieter than normal. Where was Cat talking about her brother, Robbie with his stupid puppet? Where was Andre playing his music? She rolled her neck and headed to Sikowitz's class, stopping when she saw him pacing. "Something wrong?"

He turned now, taking notice of her presence. "Jade. What are you doing here? Why aren't you at the hospital?"

"Why wouldn't I be here? Why would I be at the hospital?"

"I thought you and Tori were friends now. Didn't you hear?"

Her blood ran cold. "Hear what?"

"She's in the hospital. Got into a car crash yesterday. Her car exploded along with the other one. There's been one reported casualty." Yet another shiver rushed through her and her face turned paler.

"Did they say who it was?" she inquired, trying her best to keep her tone casual yet failing, her voice cracking now.

"They refuse to say. The family doesn't want their name out. They died arriving at the hospital. Andre said he was gonna keep me updated. Last time he texted was at five."

"When did the accident occur?"

"I'm not sure. But they've been there the whole night. The news started to cover it around three so that means they've been over at the hospital over twelve hours if that was the case." He stopped talking now as his eyes saddened and he became so unlike his former self, downcast, even his shoulders slumping.

"I'm gonna… head to the hospital. Why aren't you there?"

"I'm a teacher, Jade. As much as I would like to go, I have to do what my title says. I'm going there after school," he sighed now. "Leave my presence and go to Tori. She needs all the support she can get."

Jade nodded, turning and leaving. She headed to her car, leaning against it as she began to think of everything that had unfolded in front of her in such a short period of time. She closed her eyes, remembering the day before at how close the two had been. How could they have been so close and now, so far Why did she think it was a joke? Because her heart refused to accept the fact that she could be injured in any way, shape, or form. She wasn't supposed to be injured, didn't deserve to get hurt yet here she was, in God knows how bad of a shape. She didn't deserve it. Jade knew that everyone probably immediately headed to the hospital upon receiving the text. They wanted to be with her, wanted to support her. Like friends should be. Why couldn't she be the same? If she wanted to be more, then she should have been the first one there. Jade sighed before entering her car.

The drive was silent and she could barely pay attention to the road. She hated hospitals, despised them for she had lost her sister in one. Yeah. She once had a sister. She had lost her a little more than eight years but it felt as though it was yesterday. Her sister would have been fourteen, would be finishing middle school buts he had barely even started when she was stolen from the world. It was unfair, unfair that she couldn't live life. Barely even six years old and taken. Jade had been ten and that was her first ever loss. She had been so excited when her baby sister came into the world and she was with her, holding her in the hospital as soon as she was born and never once letting go. Not even now did she want to let go. She always had her memory and felt that her sister was still with her. But Tori had seemed to replace her. And she wanted to protect her as she did her sister. Before the cruelty of the world threatened to steal her as well. She was terrified that perhaps, now, she would be too late.

She was angry. At herself, at her friends, at Tori, at Trina. Especially Trina. That pain in the ass of a burden to everyone and helpful to none bitch that was the cause of this accident. If she hadn't been stupid enough to try to walk in heels that shouldn't exist in the first place. Then she wouldn't have burdened Tori, begging for her to meet her at the hospital. Jade seemed to despise her even more now. She hated absolutely everything about her. Her face, her voice, even her eyes seemed to irk her more than it should. But it did. And if, just if she could kill her, she would immediately take that chance. But she was grateful for only one thing. If Trina hadn't fucked up that night and Tori didn't perform in replacement, she never would have attended and Jade never would have known her. And the thought of not knowing such a brilliant person now, although she refused to admit it, shook her to her core. How can someone have that effect on her? Make her turn to jelly upon looking at her? Make her want to devour her and make her scream, cry out her name, moan, shake beneath her. How…?

Jade groaned as the vision crept up in her mind. It wasn't foreign to her. No. Quite the contrary. She would often remain awake fantasizing about it. Just closing her eyes and envisioning the girl beneath her, her eyes closed as her face contorted with pleasure, sweat causing the hair to stick to her face and neck. To feel her hands latch onto her arms, her name escaping those lips… God. If only it was reality. If only it was true. But reality is often disappointing, upsetting, horrid. She wanted to escape it. And she had tried a multitude of times, failure at every turn as though something was tormenting her, yanking her back, refusing to just leave her in peace. If only…

Thank God that the hospital wasn't far. Jade pulled into the parking lot and headed to room 103, going to enter but being stopped by Beck who was at the door. "Where do you think you're going?" he arched a dark eyebrow, his arms crossing over his chest.

"To see Tori," she answered calmly. "Is there a problem with that?" She mimicked his stance to which he gave a disbelieving, scoffing laugh at.

"Why do you suddenly care about Tori?"

"She's my friend."

Both eyebrows shot up in disbelief at that. "Friend? Since when is she your friend? She's been trying to be your friend for how long? And how many times have you rejected her? So friend? What did you smoke before you came here?"

"Look, Beck. I came here to see Tori. So, let me just see her."

"Not happening."

"What? Why the Hell not?"

"Just because I said so."

"Who the Hell do you think you are telling me who I can and can't see?!"

"You." He gave a grin as the goth became quiet. "Now you see how it feels, huh? To be commanded and dictated. You don't like it. I've put up with it for far too long. But I'm not retaliating. I don't want you to see her. She needs support from friends. You're not she."

Jade scoffed at this. "Beck, you're not her father and you're not her boyfriend. I have a right to see her!"

"No. No, you don't have a right to see her. You have the right to turn around and leave before I have the right to call security and get you kicked out for harassing me."

"This is insane!"

"Fits right into you, doesn't it? Right into your frame of mind. Now, if you excuse me… I think I'll go back into the room and leave you. Like you've done me." He turned around and entered the room, leaving Jade alone in the hallway. Staring with absolute disbelief as to what had just occurred, she wen tot open the door but found immediate resistance upon doing so. She went to look into the window and groaned in frustration when all she met was the blank white of a blind over the window, obscuring her view. She slammed the palms of her hands against the wood in annoyance. Her heart kept skipping beats out of fear and she wanted to know what the Hell was going on with Tori. What condition she was in, how she was doing. She just wanted to know. And it was destroying her on the inside. In ways that she never once would expect, ways that tore the soul that barely felt anymore from her body forcing it to hold the bitterness of sorrow, the hatred of betrayal and the uncertainty of fear. If only should could just shut it away, remain deeply broken as the person she has been since the passing of her sister. But that would be far too easy, far too painless.

She leaned against the door in an attempt to hear anything, but it was quiet. But she could swear that there was a quiet sobbing from Cat, maybe Trina. Groaning in frustration, she attempted to open the door once more before turning and leaving in defeat. She cursed under her breath, staring at the sky as she exited the building. "No… No. Damn you. Damn it! No!" she snapped, on the verge of breaking. "No…." She felt her chest begin to ache as tears welled up fully in her green eyes. This wasn't fair. None of this was fair. Why Tori? Out of all the damn people that deserve it, why did it have to be her? First her sister that barely got to live. Ten measly years. She had such large dreams for her life. She had just begun it. And now Tori. She had a life in front of her. She had passions, dreams, wants. And knowing life, it will rip Tori from it all. If it was as cruel, more cruel than death, she will be left to live life unable to fulfill what she wanted. But she'd be alive, right? Not a chance. That was worse than death. She would long for death. She knew it. She had watched one beg for death after such a horrid accident. She couldn't do a damn thing, couldn't even more her neck and all she wanted was to die. Jade shuddered at that thought. To see her so broken, the lively Vega reduced to just a mass of… brokenness.

Getting into her car, she leaned her head against the steering wheel in utter exhaustion. She wiped away a single tear that fell. She had never once shed a tear for Tori. She had never expected to. Tori could cause her to perhaps laugh, smile, grow upset but never to the point of shedding a tear. Never. But before she knew it, more tears had escaped, rolling down her cheeks and wetting the collar of her shirt. It couldn't have just been Tori, could it? Perhaps the bitter memory of her sister's passing brought the tears. Maybe the friend who had begged for death. Not solely Tori. Not… She couldn't convince herself.

She roughly wiped away the tears, groaning in annoyance as many others followed. Why the Hell was this happening? Why couldn't she just accept the fact that something was wrong, and she couldn't do a fucking thing about it? She couldn't control a lot. This shouldn't get under her skin the way this was. She can accept the fact that she couldn't see Tori. She can. She will. Fucking… She will accept it. "I can't accept it… Why can't I accept it? Why…? No. I won't… I." She shook her head, making the trip back to the hospital room. Entering it, she shoved past Beck in annoyance, going to the bed. Her heart stopped upon finding it empty. "Where is she?"

"She was taken out for surgery," Robbie responded.

"When was she taken?"

"Just now. But it feels like hours," Cat whispered, tears falling. "Hours… We've been waiting to see her all night after the accident and when we finally did…" Her voice cracked and Andre wrapped his arms around her. Nothing was said and it because solemn in the room. Jade sat down on the floor, digging her fingers into her hair as she began to wait with them.

The day passed tediously slow, Sikowitz joining after school, Tori's mother and father entering the room. Night fell and the spirits of everyone fell alongside it. Their hearts ached for their friend. Cat had fell into a deep sleep due to fatigue in Andre's arms, the tears finally ceasing and leaving tear tracks on her cheeks.

Jade managed to stay awake, the pit of fear keeping her from slumber. She heard the door open and she glanced up, standing and looking at the body on the bed. She paled more than before, tears welling up as her hands flew to her mouth. She grew sick to her stomach and she stood by the bed, staring at the singer. "No… No. Not her. Not her…"


	4. Chapter 4

**Night and Day**

**Chapter 4**

How she looked was downright horrific and it sent chills down Jade's spine. She grew sick as she studied, looking over exactly what happened to her. Her right cheek was covered with a horrific burn that ran down to her neck, disappearing under some bandages that were covering extensive cuts and bruises. The teenager wasn't even wearing anything, bandages providing her modesty. Her chest was enclosed with white linen, a cast around her stomach, supporting her back, indicating that it was or at the very least, fractured. Her arms were plastered, no doubt more burns hiding beneath them. Her left leg remained in a cast as well, bandages wrapped around the other. Broken. She looked broken. Sure, Tori was never strong to begin with. Jade knew this. Well, physically strong at the very least. But she did have the heart of a warrior. Needles were inserted seemingly everywhere, wires and machines making her look as though she was a test subject. An oxygen mask rested over her mouth and nose despite the fact that Jade could barely make out a rise and fall of her chest.

She lifted a hand to touch her cheek, hesitant to even allow it to hover over her in fear that she would shatter and break, disappearing into nothing but dust, unable to be put back together. But upon finally rendering the courage, she placed the hand onto the soft skin, jolting away immediately at the frigid feel of the usually warm skin. It was as though a layer of ice surrounded her. She gathered her courage once more, willing herself not to pull away as she took her face gently in both hands. She moved her head carefully to face her, surprised as a tear landed on her pale cheek before several others followed. She dipped her head, leaning her forehead on top of hers, taking in a shuddery breath, the fact that the others watching seemingly becoming oblivious to her.

"Jade," came a quiet voice from behind. The dark haired teen lifted her head, looking back to Cat. "Are you okay?" She wanted to scoff at that thought. Okay? How could she be okay? How could absolutely any of this be okay?! Tori was lying half-dead on the bed, dead if not from the machines helping her breathe and pump her heart for her. Dead. She was dead to the world. Despite what the monitors said… Modern science, medicine, doctors could only go so far. She'll linger. She'll become a vegetable, a corpse with a heartbeat, not even, a machine pumping for her until they accept it and finally pull the plug. That's all she was now. And that's all she ever will be. The scene was bitter déjà vu and Jade was unsure if she could accept it again. If she could survive seeing yet another young soul, a third soul with such a life ahead to disappear and be buried under six feet of dirt, trapped in cement and wood containers. She couldn't. "Jade…?"

"No, Cat," she eventually rasped out upon finding her voice. "I'm not okay… I… I'm not…"

"Oh stop it," Beck scoffed from behind. "Enough with your bullshit."

"What?"

"This is what you've wanted the moment you've met her, Jade. Don't deny it."

"Beck," Jade now bristled, "this isn't the time to…"

"Stop trying to redeem yourself. You can't! You've done harm and now you just feel guilty that you did it and you want to appear as though you're hurt so people don't think that you're a truly bad person."

"Beck, I don't think-," Andre began, everyone else as well as him sensing the growing tension between the exes.

"I'm not faking it! I'm not lying! I actually care about her!"

"Since when?! You've never once gave a single fuck about her!"

"So I could try and deny the fact that I love her!"

Silence fell among the room, the beeping and heavy breathing the only sounds. That was it. She admitted it. Through everything, everything she attempted to convince herself otherwise, push down, ignore, shove aside, she said it. To what she refused to even think was released and finally made a reality. She couldn't hide it, not even to herself. Then again, she supposed she's known from the beginning.

"You what?!"

"I love her! There, I fucking said it, Beck! I love her! And the cruelty towards her and anger towards you and frustration and sadness was me trying to convince myself that these feelings never fucking existed in the first place but they do and I hate it but I love it and I hate her for what she is making me feel but I love her because she has been the only one capable of doing so… and damn it! Damn it all! Are you happy, Beck?! I love her!"

"Yes," he now responded calmly. "I just wish you accepted that before all of this has happened. Jade, believe me, I… hated saying what I said to you, insulting you, hurting you. But I hoped it would drive you to get comfort from Tori, get closer to her."

"But what… you said earlier…"

"Was bitter frustration. I was wrong… And I'm sorry. I just… There's no excuse. I just feared she'll die without knowing and you'd regret never telling her how you truly feel. I'm sorry, Jade…" He walked over, wrapping his arms around the goth, pulling her close and pressing a tender kiss on the top of her head. "I know what wounds I've reopened, what I said hurt you… And I feel horrible. And I'm sorry."

She stared at him in sheer disbelief, pulling her arm back suddenly and slapping him across the face. "Alright, I deserved that," he mumbled as he rubbed his cheek. "Jade. I know what I said was completely unacceptable. I know well that I crossed the line. But this isn't about you and me. This is about you and Tori. You love her. And she loves you. She just needs the confirmation from you."

"How would you know that she loves me?" she demanded, despite her voice growing softer.

"You haven't seen the way she looks at you, Jade," Sikowitz now piped in. "She spends most of the time in my class staring at you and she begs me to partner her up with you whenever we do a play. What does that tell you?"

"So everyone knows she likes me except me?" She looked at the nods of confirmation she was receiving before she sat down on the chair, groaning in disbelief as she buried her hands in her hair. "You gotta be shitting me," she mumbled.

"I'm surprised you haven't caught on," Andre spoke, "I mean, it was really clear. That's why she stopped dating. Dating men. She thought she was gay so she dated Sabrina. You know, the cheer captain. Turns out she liked her better than the men."

"What happened? Why isn't she dating her then?"

"Turns out Sabrina's parents didn't like the fact their daughter was gay so they sent her to a Christian camp. You know… to 'fix' her. Complete and utter shit but… That's how they are. But Tori still likes you more than her. She's always had an eye out for you."

"I do nothing but torment her. What is she? A masochist?"

"Maybe," Robbie couldn't help but smirk. "But she does like you. And you two would be cute together."

"We're complete opposites! I'm bitter, she's sweet. I'm cold, she's warm. I'm night and she's day. How could we possibly be together?!"

"Opposites attract," Beck shrugged, "when she wakes up, give it a shot."

"You sound so sure she's gonna wake up," Jade mumbled, disheartened.

"Because we are. Tori's a fighter. She's always been one," Tori's mother spoke, "ever since she was little. She was a premature baby when I gave birth to her. She was in the ICU for months. We were going to give up on her but she pulled through. When she was five, she had a deadly ill allergic reaction to the flowers I got at a store. We had to call an ambulance and they spent a half hour attempting to bring her back. There are more instances along the way but the point is that no matter what's thrown at her, she's gonna be ready. She's gonna fight. And this time, it's not gonna be different."

"She already knows this, mom. She went through her medical records once," Trina spoke, earning a glare from the goth.

"I'm sorry, what?" her father now demanded.

"She was giving blood to Robbie and her records were there and I was curious," Jade responded, "I didn't have any purpose to read it. I just did," she sighed.

Both parents relaxed now and Jade quickly stomped on Trina's foot, annoyed that she could have just costed the approval of her parents. She didn't need the extra obstacle to worry about. All she needed was to focus on Tori and only Tori. "What about her injuries?" she now inquired.

"Too many to list. Shattered leg, almost to where it might need surgery. Broken back, burns up and down her body, third degree, I believe. Fractured skull, internal bleeding… Broken arm. The crash did a number on her, really," Andre explained sadly.

"Is she expected to live?"

"No one told us. They don' think so. That's why they didn't say a word to us… about it."

"They didn't tell you?! Aren't they supposed to? Like, legally?"

"No. Well, yes, but they have to tell us eventually. Doesn't have to be now."

"This is absolutely ridiculous! I mean, we're left trying to wonder if she's going to be alright or not and we should know. We shouldn't have to wait until they feel like it's appropriate to tell us. It's immoral. It's… Not okay.." She was on the verge of breaking again. It hurt. So much and she still didn't know what to do. Even after going through so much shit… It shouldn't be… Happening. And it was the fact that it was was breaking her. Like the other two times. And only God knows how many more times in the future. And why… Them? The brightest people? Why not her? Why is it never her? She was the one who deserved it. It was her who was the constant asshole, jerk to everyone. Why didn't she die? No, that would end the pain. It would be much too simple. If she was dead, the pain would be over and she could be at peace. That's why it never happened to her. That's why she would always watch the ones she cared for suffer. For it was a faith worse than death.

Jade didn't notice the time that had passed as she just remained there, thinking and staring at Tori. She only noticed that it was growing late when a nurse came in, claiming that visiting hours were over. She ignored the declaration, going into he bathroom and closing the door, waiting until it was safe to come out, after the nurses checked to ensure everyone had left. She waited until the door closed before emerging from the bathroom. She shut the lights and laid down in the hospital bed. Her eyes adjusted eventually to the darkness and she just stared at Tori as she slept, oblivious to what was going on. How worried everyone was for her, how desperate they were for her to wake up, to be okay and just be Tori again.

She was hesitant but she slowly took the injured girl in her arms, mindful of the wires and machines that were in her, monitoring for her, breathing for her lungs, pumping for her heart, doing everything she should be doing for herself. Once Tori was secured in her arms, Jade wrapped her full body around her, becoming a shield, trying to protect her from harm, wanting to take the pain away. She blinked away tears that seemed to grow for the hundredth time that day and she instinctively tightened her grip around her, all these emotions she was hiding from everyone crashing down and destroying her.

"I sometimes wonder why you wanna be my friend…" She mumbled to the dark. "I know you probably can't hear me but I need to say it at least in your presence. I hate this. You might think that I'm thrilled you're in here, that I love seeing you so broken. I'm not. I fucking hate this. I hate it all. If only you knew how I was feeling. How scared I am to lose you, never to see you again, hear your voice, feel your touch… You asked why I allow you to touch me. It's because I love it. It sends warmth through my body that I never felt before, that even Beck can't make me feel. You know me better than myself at times. You're always there and I just shit all over you because I can't accept the fact that I hold feelings for you. You're so fucking perfect in every damn way and… the thought of you ending up with a piece of shit like me… Saddens me. But… I need you. And the fact that it's taking me so fucking long to tell you all of this and that there's a chance you can't even hear me proves that I'm a coward, that I don't deserve you, that everything Beck said was true. I get so defensive and I hurt everyone around me because I can't accept the person I am. None of you guys deserve this. Especially not you. Never you. Maybe if I told you earlier… When I first started to feel for you… If. Damn it. Why's this so hard? Why can't I just be normal for once?

"No. That'll be too easy, wouldn't it? Far too easy. Then there wouldn't be a way for me to pay for how horrible I've been my whole life since my sister died. Believe it or not, Vega, I wasn't always like this… I was nice. Gentle even. I… was happy with my sister. I was happy even before she was born. But… she died." Jade took a deep, shuddery breath. "I… I…" She whimpered suddenly. "She was just gone. She had gotten a fever one night. The next morning, I woke up and found a note saying that they had went to the hospital so I waited for them to come home. When they did, my parents, I just waited by the door for my sister to enter. And I waited and waited and she never came in. Never. The… time I saw her, she was in a coffin," she whimpered, "she was so pale. She was so… Cold when I touched her. She was always so warm, always so soft and warm with a glow around her. And whenever I was cold, I would lay with her and become warm and happy. I haven't expected it since.

"I turned cold and bitter without her. After… my sister died, my mom and dad tried to have another child. But they never did. So they put their emotions on me. They depended on me emotionally… I couldn't take it and I… I broke and disappointed both of them. They had loved for me. But it was transferred to my sister and when she died, I never felt love from them anymore. Never… I haven't felt any love since. Until Beck. But I was… Too bitter, empathetic. I didn't know what I was feeling for I didn't have love for the longest time. And now you… you, Tori. You cared for me. You… cared for the fucking asshole that deserves death and pain and shame… And. You wanted to be with me? Me?! Out of all fucking people?! You're insane," she sighed, "but… I can't help but love you too. I… Need you."

She stared at the body. "This isn't some fairytale, is it? I can't give you true love's kiss and expect you to wake, can I? No, I can't… Life isn't a fantasy but it feels so unreal most of the time. It feels fake. All of it. A sick dream. Maybe I'm actually the one in the bed. Maybe I'm the one who died. Hell, maybe I'm in a straight jacket in a padded room mumbling about all this nonsense. Seems like a better alternative than this. Anything would be. I wish I could take your pain away. Make it so we're switched. But I wouldn't want you to be the one worrying over me. Not a single person should worry about me. But… Let me worry for you." She sighed, creating a cocoon around Tori's body with her own, tears landing on Tori's hair, wetting it with the salty liquid before she fell asleep.

She heard it all. Everything. She felt it all. The pain of the burns, the surgery, healing process, things being stuck in her like she was a voodoo doll. But out of everything, she felt exhausted. Even though she was technically asleep, right? Was this what a coma felt like? It was terrifying. She couldn't do anything. She was just… trapped. Why was she trapped? Why couldn't she move? Why couldn't she respond? Out of all the times that she was rendered motionless, why was this one of them? The only thing she could do was feel… and listen.

It troubled her. Hearing her parents when they saw her, the scream of her mother, the brokenness behind her father's voice. But she heard nothing from her sister. She heard her parents direct things to her so she knew she was aware of the situation at the very least. Maybe she felt as though the accident was her fault. Maybe she was afraid of what she would think when she would finally be able to talk again. Maybe she was too scared to say anything for she didn't want to worsen things. Tori didn't know.

Then came her friends. She immediately knew Cat was there due to the sudden whimper as she entered. She recognized Beck's, Robbie's, and Andre's voices as well. But she wasn't there. Why wasn't she there? Why wasn't Jade with them? It grew silent, remaining that way for a while. She was clueless upon how long. She heard shuffling every now and then, the doors opening and closing and the beeping. It was the beeping that was driving her insane. Sometimes it would grow faster, sometimes slower, but it never stopped. Whatever it was, she wanted it to shut up, to no longer exist for maybe then she could sleep. And the lo humming of the LED lights overhead and what sounded like a TV on, a person rambling about something. A fire, crash, fatalities. She attempted to focus on that and that alone but all other noises assaulted her hearing. It seemed as though the sense was heightened. She wanted to become deaf. Even her breathing annoyed her.

Tori decided to focus on something else. The throbbing pain in her chest. Yet even that vexed her. It didn't so much hurt but became irritating. She couldn't decipher a clear pattern amongst the jolts of pain. It would start, then stop, sometimes a few seconds of relief, other times a few minutes. She pulled away from that. She now put her attention to what felt like needles in her arms, jammed into her veins, being forced in a place that they didn't belong in. Was this Hell? It had to be.

The bed shifted and Tori felt unfamiliar arms around her. She knew the difference between her friends' and family's grips. She could have sworn that it was familiar but it wasn't. It was much too long to be her friends' but the hold had a different feeling of care within it than her family's. The scent. The scent told her all she needed to know. It was Jade. Heaven. Hell had shifted to Heaven in less than a fraction of a second.

She felt her body being moved with such care that it melted her heart. She was now on her side and she felt the body wrap itself around her. She was safe, warm… Home.

Then came her voice, the only thing she wanted to hear that could soothe her even though she didn't realize she needed it until now. The monologue was surprising. But it relieved so much. So, so much. She felt her heart pick up, felt the blood rushing to her face, felt newfound hope, happiness, contentment well within her body. She felt ironically more alive than she had ever felt before.

It hurt… Not to be able to respond. To hear such sorrow, desperateion, regret, self-loathing… And she couldn't do a damned thing about it. It hurt. It hurt more than the surgeries, the needles, the fire burning away her flesh, the bone ripping through her muscles and tearin g the tissues and filaments of her skin apart. She hated it more than anything she had ever experienced before. She despised it. Not being able to soothe her, ensure her, go against what she was saying and convince her that she was wrong. That she was so horribly, terribly wrong. Why.. Why couldn't she tell her? Why couldn't she comfort her and insist that absolutely everything was going to be alright…? That she was there. That she would fight for her and protect her from the cruelties of the world?: That she would hold her and love her and never let go?


	5. Chapter 5

**Night and Day**

**Chapter 5 **

Tori felt the bed give way as weight seemed to be lifted off of it. The warm besides her disappeared gradually. The arms that hugged her pulled away, the body that she felt so comfortable in leaving her, leaving her to reside in this state of prison that didn't allow her to do anything. Her mind was torturing her. It was constantly on, her thoughts continuously rushing, one following another as fears and worries tugged at her heart. Where was Trina? How were her parents? Where was Sikowitz? Why did everything hurt? Why was everything disappearing and coming back? What time was it? What year? How long had she been asleep for? What the fuck is this crash that the news is continuously reporting on? Like, fuck, can't they have something else to focus their attention on already? Something bigger than a stupid fucking car crash? Weren't there bigger problems in the world?

The arms came back around her mere minutes later and she found herself sinking into the embrace, apparently physically as well. A hand gently dug into her hair, fingers gingerly running through it. "Tori?" Came a quiet voice, one only belonging to Jade. "Tori… Are you awake? Can you hear me?"

The singer willed herself to speak. She wanted nothing more than to just speak to her, tell her that she could hear her. Tell her that she could hear every single thing that she told her before. She could hear her cries, her voice breaking, hear how broken she was from the inside out, more than likely more broken than she herself could ever be in this world. A hand took hers, fingers intertwining with her own, feeling as though a puzzle piece had just fell perfectly into place. The warm hand soothed her, sending warmth throughout her in waves, making her feel peaceful, more peaceful than she had felt since she arrived… wherever she was, still entirely clueless. "Tori, squeeze my hand. Give me some indication that you can hear me, that you're there and still hanging on. Please?"

That one word at the end. That one fucking word. Jade was never known to be the one to plead for anything. She doubted that the teenager would even plea for her life at the end of the day. Everything had been stripped away from her according to the story that was told to her. Apparently she had nothing to live for except… Her. She was Jade's reason to live. She had a purpose to keep breathing. As long as Tori did, Jade would too. That thought struck her much like a slap in the face as realization washed over her. Jade… Needed her to live. That was Tori's purpose. To give Jade a purpose. To be there for her.

_One squeeze. Come on, Tori. Give her one squeeze to let her know you're there! To let her know that I'm still fighting for her! Because of her! Give one squeeze. One. _Those pleads to herself she reiterated again and again. She was fighting herself. Fighting against her body as her heart screamed out. Screamed out more and more. _PLEASE! SHE NEEDS YOU! FIGHT! FUCKING FIGHT! DAMN IT! WHY MUST THE HUMAN BODY BE SO FUCKING FRAGILE! FIGHT! One squeeze. One squeeze. It's not that hard, is it? You had anatomy, Tori. You know how the body works. You have to will yourself. You have to send the message. No one else can do it for you. You have to be there for Jade. You have to… Please. Please. One squeeze. Give her. One. Fucking. Squeeze. _

"Jade, how did you manage to come in here so early? We just arrived," Tori's father inquired as he entered the room, placing down a vase with some flowers in it. Jade looked back over to him tiredly, her arms still wrapped around Tori, holding her just as tightly as she did when she first started. Despite being exhausted with worry, her grip remained true.

"I know someone," she lied, turning her head back over to Tori, resuming her position with her face buried into her hair. "… they let me come in early."

"That's a lie," the father mumbled. "You're still in your same clothes… Did you… Did you stay the night? Did you sneak in here?"

"… I didn't sneak in here. I just hid until the nurses left. I stayed in the bathroom and… I didn't want to leave her. I didn't feel right just leaving her like this alone. She might… Not be responsive but there's a chance she can hear us. People in comas are known to hear things around them. And if she were to go…" Her throat closed up at that sentence. It felt horrible saying it. She cleared her throat before managing to rasp out the next. "… It wouldn't be fair to let her go alone. Even if she wasn't aware of it. No one should have to go through that."

"She isn't going to die, Jade," the cop responded.

"How do you know?" She mumbled in return. Her voice wasn't demanding, wasn't testing or challenging. It was soft, almost to the point where she was broken.

"I could ask you the same as to you worrying about her dying. We don't know. And out of all the times to be… an optimist, I think no is a great time to start. Jade, I personally don't know you that much. I only know based on what Tori tells me."

"Tori… She talks about me?"

"Plenty. Actually, she never stops talking about you." He had sat down on the bed now on the other side of his daughter, stroking her hair gently. "All she talks about is you. Of course she talks about the others but not nearly as much as she talks about you."

"All the things I do to annoy her, huh? How frustrated she must be with me… constantly ignoring her and shoving her to the side."

"No," he answered, earning a rather surprised and confused look from the goth. "She talks only good about you. If I didn't know any better, I would think you guys were dating. I thought so plenty of times until she would come home with some other douchebag who doesn't know how to treat her right… Men are complicated. They're different and most of them are asses. I'm not gay for that reason. Sure, I've seen plenty of men that I have been attracted to, who I thought I was attracted to but I've realized over my span of life how… horrid some men can be. Of course, everyone has their flaws. I do too. But men have a hard time making up for that. We always hide behind ourselves, try to mask our flaws with masculinity. We try to show a cold front to the world and we get angry when women insist that everything is fine because we know it's not. In a sense, we know how women feel greater than anyone else. That's why the suicide rate for men is so high.

"But what I'm saying, Jade, is that… I would rather have her gay than for her heart to get broken by another ass wipe trying to date her to become popular or to use her or for some shit like that. And I've seen her… so happy talking about you, so lively, so excited and I know for a fact that she loves you. She really does. Not even as a sister or a really good friend. And I think she was trying to hide that she cared about you even to herself. She's not afraid to hide it from us. We're not homophobic. God, I hate that word… But we just wanna see our little girls happy. And I wish that something sooner could have came before this happened so that she could be happy with you. And knowing that you care about her too in that sense. My God, when I found out about what you said, I was ecstatic. I felt as though the weight of so much has been taken off of my shoulders. Because I know that if… when… she gets through it, she will be happy with you. That she would be content with you and that you'll be able to treat her better than any other man out there.

"And before you say a word about how much of a jerk you were being to her, knowing what I know now, I want you to know that it's alright. Because you haven't fully broken her. You have revealed time and time again that you care for her. If you didn't, you would have left. But you stuck around. If you truly didn't like her, she wouldn't keep her hopes up so high. She doesn't hold onto hopeless situations. As much as she is optimistic, she's also a realist in many situations such as these. You've given her a reason to like, dare I say, love you. You've given her the knowledge that you care about her, even though you attempted to hide it by being an absolute ass to her. But that's what people do. People hide behind these facades and avatars in order to make life easier. Life is never gonna get easier. Life is a game and trying to get through life by bending the rules isn't going to work.

"If you want some piece of advice, take it. Play the game. Play the game but play it your own way. Playing the game necessarily your own way doesn't mean that you're gonna end up cheating or bending the rules. Life doesn't have rules except for the rules that it wants to throw at you. So live life and discover its rules, figure out how life works. And once you know the game of life, you make it into your own game and you play it the way it used to play you. And you make your life happy and worthwhile. Play the game. Play the game and make people believe you play it, even if you end up in a padded cell with a straight jacket, play the game, _their _game. And then make the game your own. And right now, you're winning in the section of the game when it comes to love. Because you've obviously done something right." He placed a tender kiss on the top of Tori's head before doing the same with Jade's. "I want you to come to our house whenever you feel as though you need to. Tori has welcomed you into her heart, which means that you're welcomed into your home. Your life wasn't exactly the best but let's help change that. Welcome to the family," he gave her a gentle and soft smile, patting her shoulder before standing and leaving the hospital without another word.

Jade sat there in silence, obviously stunned by the words of him. Insane. He is absolutely insane. He had to be. In order… in order… But he had his life together. He's a cop, he has a wife, two daughters. Well, one wonderful daughter and a screech box but that was one of life's "rules". Play the game. Did he play it? Did he beat the game? He seemed happy, content. Life was just throwing something more at him. But he didn't seem fazed. Did he know something that no one else did? Did he know that Tori would survive? This began to stir hope in Jade's chest. Survival. Tori had to play the game. She had to do it. And something in Jade told her that she was going to do it.

No. She was gonna end up in a padded cell. Jade didn't hear any of those words. It was probably a figure, a ghost, whatever the fuck kind of voice was attempting to deceive her. The game. The game was… The game. The game where she began crippled, the game where she didn't get that head start, as though she landed on a square that said _go back ten spaces_. As though she would advance and something more would be thrown at her, sending her back more and more, as though each roll of the dice would break her and send her back. Send her down the slide in _Chutes and Ladders_. Send her back to the beginning. Go up the tiniest ladder, go down the largest chute with more and more obstacles along the way. Like she was doing something wrong that was invisible to her.

She stared at Tori, wondering if her game was different than hers. Of course it was. Tori grew up with a loving father and mother and… somewhat tolerable sister. She had a family that loved her. Jade stopped. _She _had a family. _She _had a sister. _She _had love in her life. But the game continued to push _her _back. _She _was thrown back. _She _was "going to jail, going directly to jail without passing GO, without collecting $200". She had nothing to her advantage. She was constantly losing her properties, she was slowly going bankrupt. Until she got Tori. Her "get out of jail free" card. She was getting her properties back. She was pulling everything back together. She was landing on "free space". She was… Back in the game. Because of Tori. All she had to do now was continue until she could beat it.

Tori. What about her? At the moment, she had just landed on fucking Park Place with a hotel on it and no money to pay the rent. What about Tori? What could she do? Jade just stared, trying to pull some pieces together in her head, attempting to think of something, _something, _that could be of aid to her. But what…? What could possibly… help someone in such a dire situation. Jade wasn't a doctor. She knew nothing about surgery. She barely even knew how extensive the damage was. She wasn't even told if Tori had a chance of survival. Optimism. Yes. Tori had a chance of survival. No matter how slim the chance, it was still a fucking chance. It was… something. And she needed to look at that, needed to focus on only that. Tori would look at the bright side. Tori would be optimistic. Tori would be… Tori.

Someone that Jade had grown to love due to always having a smile, always seeming to work her way out of the dark, shoving the dark away, headbutting it and responding with a song of how she was gonna come out triumphant. And this wouldn't be any different. The hope spurred more and more in Jade's chest. Tori wouldn't let this get her down. Nothing would have gotten Tori down if her own depressive attitude towards the Latina didn't. She had managed to do so much at such a young age. Tori was broken. It was clear but Jade knew that she could pick up the pieces again. And this time, the singer wouldn't be alone. The goth would be right besides her, helping her pick up the pieces, helping her to put herself back together and if she wasn't strong enough to do so by herself, Jade was more than willing to take over entirely, mend her to where she could stand tall once again and shine. _Make it shine. _


	6. Chapter 6

**Night and Day **

**Chapter 6**

Jade wasn't ready to leave Tori at the moment. But it had been two days since she last left the hospital. She was growing uncomfortable with the fact that she hadn't showered in a while and she was still stuck in the same clothing. Of course, she could always shower in the bathroom at the hospital but she didn't exactly feel clean doing so and she wasn't keen on getting how many diseases that lingered on the bathtub. She doubted that any nurses came by and would clean it. Despite health regulations set by the government, usually no one followed them and Tori didn't need her getting ill.

The goth stared at the girl in the hospital bed, sighing inwardly. She had made no process whatsoever within recovery and she didn't seem like she was going to anytime soon. But what did she expect? It was only day two, or day three, of Tori being there. She didn't know how long she remained in the hospital. It could have been months. Time droned on sluggishly and she had simply lost track of it. Time was a concept perceived up by humans. But she still wished that she could manipulate it for it to go faster and for Tori to heal quicker.

"I'm gonna be back tomorrow morning," Jade finally relented as she sat down on the bed, carefully stroking the Latina's hair behind her ear. "I'm not leaving you. Only for tonight to shower and get my wits about me. If I leave now, I don't have time to come back before visiting hours are over and sneak in. They'll know." She pressed a kiss on her temple before resting her forehead on hers. "I'm gonna trust you to last until tomorrow morning. If not, you have some scissors to answer to, Vega," she mumbled, trying to get an amused smirk to pass on her lips but none came. She cleared her throat in an attempt to suppress a sob that was growing in the back of her neck. She shook her head and finally stood, taking off a necklace that she had tucked beneath her shirt.

She was careful as she lifted Tori, putting the necklace on her before she set her down, taking the green flower pendant on her fingertips. "You've never seen me wear it because I refuse to let anyone know I do. But I want you to have it as a way to know that I'm still here. It belonged to my sister before she passed. Mom had handed it down to her and she gave it to me after. It's kinda my good luck charm. I dunno. Maybe this will help you."

Jade looked at Tori's pale face, her throat restricting as unshed tears began to pool up in her eyes. "Damn it, Vega, you fucking fight this, do you hear me? You fucking fight this. And I'm not gonna let you go without a fight. I'll fucking- I'll-… I don't know what I'll do but I'll make sure that you stay alive and that you fight. That's all you have to do. And that's it." She placed her head on her chest, careful of her wounds, her ear pressed against the slow yet steady heart that beat beneath her. "You fight," she mumbled before she heard a nurse in the other room tell people that visiting hours were over. She shoved the tears away and squeezed Tori's hand, planting a kiss on her knuckles before tenderly placing it on her bed. The goth turned and left, hoping that nothing will change tomorrow morning.

As Jade pulled into the driveway of her home, she noticed that her father's car was there as well as her mother's. Great. Now she had both of them to contend with. No doubt they knew that she had skipped yet another day of school. She had ignored all texts, all communication with them entirely, basically ghosting them as they demanded where she was, what she was doing, etcetera, etcetera. But it didn't surprise her that they weren't too worried to call the cops. It was mostly the norm with Jade and they knew it. They knew well that she could fend for herself. They still didn't take it too lightly that she had missed school. The call from the high school stating that she had several unexcused absences didn't sit well with either of them.

The pale girl was debating whether or not she should enter the house or just decide to say fuck it and drop by the motel down the street. She wasn't sure if she had the patience to deal with their inquiries and demands. But she also knew that she would be too tired to answer to them and would probably just block them out. Deciding to stay, she got out of the car, locking it and grabbing her bag from the back seat. When she entered the house, she saw her parents discussing in the kitchen, both of their heads turning towards her upon hearing the door open. "What?" She demanded when neither said a word and just stared.

"Where have you been?! You've had your mother and I worried sick!" Her father immediately rose his voice. Jade gave him a bitter smirk in return, walking past him or at least attempting to. He stopped her, grasping her arm in his hand. "Hey! Don't walk away! You have some explaining to do!"

"It's the same situation every single time I leave the house for a few days. You keep asking and I don't answer. That's it. This time is not gonna be any different," she responded in a monotonous tone, sounding and looking rather done with the situation before it had even begun.

His eyes narrowed as he drew his hand back, slapping her clear across the face. The goth smirked, not seeming too fazed with his assault. "Is that the best you can do, old man? Or are you gonna try showing you care more?" She bitterly tested him, only to receive another smack. A harsh force shoved against her chest, sending her into the wall. A sharp pain exploded against the back of her head before dulling when she felt a warmth roll down her temple to her neck, landing on the floor with a quiet drip.

She slowly sunk to her knees as dizziness and nausea overtook her. She felt around for the source of the bleeding only to feel something sticking out her head. Glass. Had he? Her eyes ran across the floor before she saw remnants of a broken vodka bottle. "Fucking…" She mumbled to herself, not realizing that he was still in her presence. He slammed his foot into her chest before grabbing her head roughly, yanking her head closer to his.

"What the Hell did I say about language in this house?! I'm getting real sick of you, Jade!" He yelled down at her. He was basically supporting her. She was kneeling down in front of him, too shaky and out of it to notice what the Hell was happening. "You leave and don't respond to any of our texts and calls! Were you smoking pot again? Drugs? Sex? You little whore! You've missed school and you think you could just come back in here and act as though nothing has happened?! Have we not raised you better?!"

Jade didn't respond as his words just went in one ear and out the other. "I'm tired," she finally managed to rasp out. "Let me shower and head to bed."

His response was merely shoving her to the ground, her head slamming against the linoleum of the kitchen floor, causing her vision to go black. She heard the retreating footsteps of her father and mother before she went on her side, curling up into a small ball and coughing heavily into her hand. Her hair matted against her skin from the fresh blood and she felt a sudden urge to expel everything. Thank God that she didn't eat. The only thing she had was water and even then, it had been a while since she had any.

When she finally managed to push herself up, using the counter as a support, she noticed that it had been an hour later since she had arrived home. Shrugging her jacket off of her shoulders, she proceeded upstairs as though nothing had happened, walking past the many religious pictures of Jesus, Mary, Joseph, saints, angels, crosses, things of that nature. Her parents were extremely religious, especially her father, and he enjoyed instilling his beliefs into his daughter. She doubted it was even for the "Christian" intent that he told her it was.

_"I'm doing this for your own good, Jade," _he used to tell her when she was a kid and continued to do so now. _"When you finally understand what you're doing wrong and walk on the straight path to God and what He demands, you will no longer be punished. Until then, this will continue." _Ironic. The good word of God resulting in beatings and torture and name calling and war. War. The right path, the straight path was the one that turned her so bitter against God and against her father.

She stared at a single cross that had been placed back in her bedroom. Every single day, she would take it down. And every single night, she would find it back up again. She grabbed it, feeling a sudden wave of anger burst through her veins. She headed downstairs and out into the night. She sat down in the backyard, setting the cross in front of her before taking out a lighter, lighting it on fire. She stared at the flames, the red light illuminating the area around her, enough so one could see her tears that rolled down her cheeks. She remained like that well into the night until the final embers died out.


	7. Chapter 7

**Night and Day**

**Chapter 7**

He was waiting for her. When Jade entered the room around one in the morning, he grabbed her, slamming her against the wall. "I saw what you did," he growled, glaring down at her. Jade didn't respond, merely staring straight ahead, her green eyes barely open. She was exhausted and she had yet to shower. She had school tomorrow as well and she intended to check up on Tori before heading there anyways. "You burnt the cross, huh? Do you know how old that cross was?! Do you know the significance of it?! My grandfather carved the cross with his bare hands!"

"Didn't do that great of a job, now, did he?" she responded coldly, only to receive a smack across the face. The sting died as quickly as it arrived but she didn't seem to notice it. Her face was red and she knew that she would have to cover up the occurring bruises with makeup.

"You disrespectful rat!" He yelled, slamming the teenager against the floor, the thud sending vibrations throughout the house. "You're a little mistake! You're a little heathen!"

"Who uses that word anymore?" She had fun taunting him and the anger was slowly forming in her veins as it did every single time that her father got like this. The only retaliation she could get however was pissing him off. "No one uses heathen anymore. No one is as old and religious as you unless they're insane people who haven't had good lives!" she growled. She felt a sharp pain in her stomach and blood rushed out of her mouth, rolling quickly past her chin and down her neck, the rich red liquid landing on the wooden floor, a soft dripping filling the room as the father became silent, livid.

Jade felt her body shudder involuntarily with pain and it felt as though a rusty nail had been lodged into her stomach, slowly being turned, poking and prodding every little area, trying to elicit as much pain as possible. "And who dresses like you dress? Huh? No wonder why Beck left you." Her body tensed up at that. He was getting under her skin. He always knew how to. "No wonder why no one wants to be with you."

"I broke it off with him!" She snapped in return, her breathing picking up as hot blood rushed through her body.

"Don't you get smart with me, child! You are nothing but a child! An ignorant little kid who needs to learn right from wrong! Who needs to be changed in the name of God and be pulled away from the little devils that are in your school! You truly think that you're this little rebelling child who knows her way in life. But you don't! Do you know where rebellions go?! Hell! Lucifer rebelled! And now Lucifer is in Hell!"

"Lucifer was at least an angel once! You were never an angel! You were a devil all along! Do you truly think that beating your daughter and scaring her shitless from you is going to get you to Heaven?! Do you?! Do you think God wants you to do this?! Well then again, God is causing all this shit in the world to happen so maybe who fucking knows?! Maybe Hitler and Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden is sitting right next to God trying to figure out what the fuck to do next to screw humanity over! Do you think a so called loving God is going to damn the people He supposedly loves to a place of eternal suffering and damnation over something that they did in life?! Do you really fucking think that you are getting into Heaven if that what He truly is? A loving and faithful Father to all of His children?! Do you fucking think that I should believe in a God that allows anyone into Heaven if they repent?! If a murderer walked into this house and killed everyone here before repenting and killing himself and then got into Heaven that this God is truly a good and worthy God?! A God that has caused mass genocides and crusades and murder throughout history?! Fuck your God! Fuck you! I'm sick of your fucking bullshit! Religion has done nothing but make sick, evil, and twisted people, using the world of 'good' to make themselves feel right about mass slaughters and killings! The same God that made radical terrorists! The same God that has taken away my little sister! That has taken away my friend! That is literally tearing the life and soul out of the one I love this very second!" She ripped herself away from his grip. "If you ever see me again, you'll be seeing me in court for child abuse," she hissed. "I'm sick of your fucking shit. I've been sick of you my whole fucking life! You've made my life a living Hell and you really fucking think that I'm gonna tolerate this any longer?! I've stayed because of mom, to ensure that you wouldn't hurt her! But I've realized that you only wanna hurt me, that very mistake that was made by a sinful act that you committed with mom! And you of course didn't want to have an abortion so here I am! That mistake! You've called me a mistake my whole fucking life but because of you, because of your dumbass beliefs, I'm here!" She pulled her fist back, punching him across the face, watching as he stumbled before slamming her knee in between his legs. He immediately grew nauseous, falling to his knees, coughing.

"You have nowhere to go," he mumbled out through wheezing breaths. "No one will take you in."

"I don't plan on going to anyone anyways," she hissed. "I've been fine by myself before. I'll be fine now."

"And where will you get the money? Huh? Selling your body like the prostitutes on the street do?"

"Better than living with you," was the final reply before she grabbed her things and left the house. She got into the car, pulling out of the driveway. The car wasn't something that her parents gave to her. No. They hated her too much to do such a generous thing for her. She had went out and gotten it herself. The way she got the money was not something that she wanted anyone to know. But she got the money. That was all that matters in the end. Maybe her friends wouldn't have agreed with it, maybe they would have insisted on getting the money the way everyone else gets money, but she truly didn't have the patience to deal with people and she knew damn well that she would end up getting fired within a matter of a week or so.

Jade stopped at the hospital, entering it with a photo ID that she had taken a picture of before she left. She knew that there was a chance that she would probably come back in the middle of the night, especially if she assumed or felt that something was wrong. She avoided the security as well as the nurses and doctors but not many were about. Most of the people in the hospital were asleep. They were either drugged up by annoyed doctors and were in comas, maybe too weak to stay up as well. The other doctors were probably doing surgery or staying in the lounge area. They would get notified by the machines if something were to happen to someone. There were no cameras in the lounging room. Just alerts on their walkie-talkies or other small alarms distributed throughout the hospital. She wasn't worried.

Entering Tori's room, she carefully closed the door behind her, locking it. She stripped and got into the shower, not really caring anymore. If she was really desperate, she would crash over at Beck's place or… She turned her head, looking over at Tori that laid in the room across from her, still, motionless. It sickened her. She wouldn't go with Beck. She would stay in the hospital. With Tori. She was needed there.

_ "You know, Jade. If you really wanted me to finish my homework faster, I don't think that you would be distracting me every ten seconds," Tori whispered, looking over at the goth that was sitting next to her. Jade didn't seem to respond, just combing her fingers gently through the Latina's hair. _

_ "Just focus on your homework and ignore me," she hummed plainly, a small content smile on her lips as her eyes followed her fingers. Jade didn't seem fully there. She was enchanted at the simple movements of her fingers. She was content. "I'm happy right here, Vega. But I would be happier if your full attention was only on me. You know I don't like sharing my stuff." _

_ "I'm your 'stuff' now?" the singer smirked as she put her pencil down, closing the math textbook that laid in front of her. "You've claimed me as your own?" _

_ "You've given me the permission to claim you as soon as you accepted the first date with me." _

_ "But we weren't officially dating then. We didn't become girlfriends until after the third date." _

_ "Yeah, well, we both knew that it would eventually happen…" Jade moved slightly, pushing Tori's chair back. The black haired teenager stood before hopping on the desk, grabbing the arm of the chair that Tori was in and yanking her close to her, staring into the girl's chocolate eyes. The smirk that had been playing on her lips grew bigger, her green eyes growing darker with a type of dominance that made the other shudder in her chair. Goosebumps formed along her skin and Jade trailed her fingers over the ones that appeared on her arms where the clothing no longer covered them. _

_ "J-jade, what are you?" _

_ "I'm not allowed to touch you?" She inquired, trailing her hand down to her thigh before resting it there. Tori's face seemed to have gotten a deep red, not truly knowing how to respond. She felt the hand inch up, slowly moving to her inner thigh. "But if you want me to stop, just tell me." Jade's voice had become soft and genuine, gentle, caring. _

_ Tori said nothing, her breath hitching when she felt the fingers latch on the waistband of her jeans. Her eyes closed as two fingers played with the button before slowly undoing it. The zipper was open with great slowness, teasing the woman in the chair who was feeling the undergarments grow wet with anticipation. The hand that had been teasing her wormed its way into her jeans, two fingers running up and down her length through her panties, testing the waters, seeing what the girl liked. She felt the wetness and the smile of lust and domination merely grew. She tested every now and then, watching the Latina closely to see what she liked. The goth finally got off the desk, kneeling down in front of her as she lifted her shirt, pressing tender kisses up and down her stomach before stopping at her navel, sucking on it. The body shook before her, soft whimpers and moans escaping the girl that looked to be on the verge of pleading to stop being teased. She was having too much fun though. _

_ It was long. She wanted to make it memorable for the woman. She wanted to watch her squirm with pleasure more and as she observed her, she saw the glistening sweat begin to roll down her face and neck as her body grew warmer with arousal. "J-jade. Stop t-teasing. Please… Please, stop teasing…" _

_ "Do you want me?" she now mumbled against the kiss of her stomach. _

_ "P-please…" _

_ The fingers stopped on Tori's clit as her voice grew deeper. "Say it. Say that you want me." _

_ "I want you." _

_ "What do you want me to do?" She began to rub in small, teasing circles upon the pearl of the teenager. "What do you want me to do?" The second hand was beginning to tease the waistband of Tori's panties, slowly but surely pushing them down, revealing the throbbing woman in front of her. _

_ "I want… I want you to…" _

_ "To do what?" She leaned in, her breath hot against the woman, a cry of anticipation and even frustration escaping Tori. _

_ "I want you to fuck me. Please, Jade. Fuck me." _

_ "What a good girl, begging for me." Jade was content at those words, her own arousal forming as she wrapped an arm around Tori's waist, pulling her close to her now, feeling her skin, feeling her warmth as two fingers entered her, her thumb rubbing harder upon the rosebud that rested above her vagina. She fingered, searching, moaning at the vaginal walls that clenched again against her fingers. She was careful not to hurt her. She found it. The g-spot was right there and she rubbed the ball of her finger against it, feeling the shudder of it. All she heard was the moaning of her girlfriend, of the girl that she wanted to give pleasure to for the longest time. She heard her moans and the cry of her name made her almost on the verge of orgasm herself. It was so hot. So fucking hot. Jade was sweating herself. _

_ She went faster and harder, feeling Tori grab onto the front of her shirt for leverage and support. The Latina buried her face into her neck, moaning harder before her body shook. She stopped moving now before the body sunk, her hips lurching and Jade felt liquid escape, surrounding her fingers, landing on her hand. Warm. _

_ The heavy breathing of Tori was the only thing in the room and Jade slowly stopped pumping, running the hand up her body as Tori came down from her high. "Love?" Jade whispered in her ear, a shiver rushing through the other. _

_ "Hmmm?" She inquired tiredly, her body weight fully against Jade and she could tell that the darker girl was content. _

_ "I love you…" She whispered in her ear, placing a kiss on her lips. The kiss that she received back sent electricity throughout her body, warming her straight to her core, her heart beating madly in her chest. _

_ "I love you, too." _


	8. Chapter 8

**Night and Day**

**Chapter 8 **

"Jade. I don't think that it's healthy to be staying in the hospital day in and day out. You know my place is always open. Why don't you come with me?" Beck insisted now for the third day in a row.

"Until I know Tori is up and well, I refuse to leave her side," she simply answered. Her voice wasn't harsh nor cruel. It was tired yet it held a small sense of hope. Tori had been making progress. She no longer needed the machine to pump her heart for her. While still hooked up to the oxygen tank, she was doing most of the breathing herself. She was healing.

It had been a week since Jade had made that final decision to leave her home. And unlike the other times, she had no intention of going back. Her devotion now, her purpose was ensuring that Tori would wake and heal. And she was gonna be there every step of the way.

"When was the last time you ate?"

"This morning."

"Don't lie. You haven't been eating or sleep. Jade, you look awful."

"Thanks. I didn't put makeup on today," she replied bitterly.

"Jade."

"Look at me and tell me if I give a fucking shit about myself. I don't. As long as I know that Vega is alright, I'm fine." She looked down at the Latina she was holding, pulling her closer to her chest. "I'm fine."

"Jade. You're not okay. You haven't been to school in weeks and all of us are worried."

"Don't be. I'm content right here," she mumbled truthfully, her face buried in Tori's neck. "This is the most content I've been in a long, long time. I'm here, holding Tori as she sleeps. I'm happy."

He watched her. It did seem as though she was at peace and he couldn't deny the fact that that was all he truly wanted for Jade. He cared for her deeply and despite not loving her romantically anymore, he did love her. He sighed now before standing. "I'm gonna go down and get some food from the cafeteria. Care to join?"

"No."

"Fine. Then do you want anything to eat?"

"… See if they have any yogurt."

"You hate yogurt."

"For Tori. In case she wakes up," she looked at the Canadian. "Please?"

He nodded and patted her on the shoulder. "I'm getting you something to eat as well. Don't think I'm not."

"I never did, Beck," she replied. "Never did." She heard him leave and sighed, curling into the singer, resting her head on her heart, relaxing at the steady yet weak beat. It seemed as though she had fallen asleep for she woke to feel the girl next to her shifting. "Tori?" she whispered, receiving a small groan in response. "Tori!" She immediately fell out of her stupor, sitting up and watching the girl wake. Her heart picked up happily and she smiled. "Tori! Oh my God! Can you hear me?"

Another small groan and her head shifted. Jade felt her heart pick up more when her eyes opened yet immediately close again due to the assault of the LED lights in the room. "J-jade?" she rasped out and the goth never felt such elation from hearing her name than that very moment.

"How do you feel?" She watched as the singer moved, gently stopping her. "Don't move too much. Don't. You've taken quite a hit in that car crash. Just rest."

"Where…" she whispered, "where?" She was much too weak to finish the question.

"Hospital. You're in the ICU of the hospital. Just relax. I don't want you talking either. Can you just lie there for me?"

She gave a slight nod, sinking back fully on the bed, her eyes closing. She was confused and fear rushed through her veins. Hospital? Car crash? What had even happened? Every part of her body ached, feeling as though it was on fire. Yet she felt cold as well. Her bones felt brittle to her and she was terrified to move, fearing that if she did, she would snap in half. "Jade," she sighed, surprised to see her there. Where was everyone else? What day was it? Now that she was at least conscious, she wished to know.

"What is it?" she inquired, running her fingers through her hair gently, smiling to herself when she saw Tori relax even more. Good. At least she accepted her touch. That was all she wanted at the moment. She was happy to give her that comfort, however small it was. It was something.

"… Where? What?" Her utterly confused and scared gaze broke something inside Jade. It reminded her too much of her sister. The night before she never saw her again. She had had the same look in her eyes. It terrified her to her core.

"Hey. Don't worry about it. Just know that you're safe and everything is going to be alright. That's all you have to know. Alright?" She pressed a tender kiss on her forehead. "Just relax," she whispered, watching the girl sink back to sleep.

Jade was elated and it felt as though much had been lifted from her shoulders. Tori had woken up. Surely that was progress and much of it/. She had consciousness back, even if it was little. It was something she was grateful for and for the few times in her life, she thanked whatever higher power there was looking over Tori. But part of her felt that it wasn't a god but her sister. She had more faith that her sister was watching over her as opposed to some bearded man in the sky.

"Her name was Elizabeth. She liked to be called Lizzy. She enjoyed going around, telling everyone she was a lizard. She would stick her tongue out and cling to me daily, saying how she was cold blooded and needed my warmth to survive." Jade chuckled softly at that. "She was always so happy. Always the light in my life. I was always so excited to come home from school to her.

"Father wanted to raise her different. He was strict with her but I wouldn't let him kill her flame. I would spoil her. I gave her junk, cake, candies galore. But she never wanted it. She would always insist that I take it. Of course I couldn't. She might have been stubborn but you know me. I'm a Hell of a lot worse than she is. I ended up winning each time. She loved tootsie roll pops the best. She only liked the flavors. She said they tasted different than the other lollipops which is why she liked them so much. But she refused to eat the tootsie roll in the middle, saying it was too sticky for her. She was funny in that sense. I dunno why but I found it strangely adorable. And I remember at night, when both of my parents were gone, we would watch movies and she would lean up against me, the tootsie pop in her mouth and just holding my hand in hers. The way Lizzy held it made me feel safe for some reason. She was so tiny and I knew that I was supposed to make her feel safe but it was simply the other way around." Jade stopped, staring at the hand that she held securely in both of hers. "Kinda like this…" She stopped talking now and smiled. "I never thought that I would actually be doing this. Holding your hand and telling you things I've never even told Beck about. And I know that you can hear me but you're the only one I truly trust this information with."

She leaned down, resting her head on Tori's now. "I trust you with everything I have, Vega, because I know well that you care for me and you've proven to me that you are willing to do so much to ensure that I'm okay. And I thank you for that. It's one of the main reasons I love you the way I do." She pressed a kiss on her lips, feeling much more confident now than she did before. Gathering her in her chest, she closed her eyes and for the first time in days, climbed into bed and fell into a peaceful sleep.

_"Jade…" came a whine from Tori as she felt Jade playing with her hair. _

_ "What? Come on, you can't tell me you don't like it when I play with your hair." _

_ "I do but I really need to finish this. You've been distracting me for the whole week and I haven't been able to finish what I need to. This grade is huge too. And Lerner already doesn't like me." _

_ "Well, Lerner is insane. She has her panties stuck up her ass ad she's just frustrated cause no one wants to fuck her. Simple as that." _

_ "Jade!" Tori couldn't help but laugh, shaking her head. _

_ "It's true. You know damn well it is. What's your project that's so important anyway?" _

_ "We have to write an essay about someone meaningful in our lives," Tori grinned, looking over at her lover. "I choose you." _

_ "Out of all the people you could have chosen, your dumb ass choose me?" she laughed incredulously. _

_ "Because you mean everything to me and I wish you would see that," the singer replied, her voice filled with love and admiration for the girl next to her. "You mean the world to me and I just wish that you could see that you do, Jade. I love you. I've stuck by your side not because I thought I needed to but because I wanted to. Don't you get it? I love you. So much. You've brought so much joy and happiness into my life, regardless if you see it or not. I'm glad Lerner gave us a word limit or else I would never end. I love so much about you." Tori leaned into the girl, holding her tightly. "Now can I please get to writing?" _

_ The goth sighed, relenting. "Fine, fine. Only because I want you to get a good grade." _

_ "No. Only because you wanna read what I have to say about you," Tori teased in return. She smiled in success as she watched Jade grow red, knowing that she had embarrassed her. She took pride in that for she knew barely anyone could make the goth flustered like she could. It remained a mystery as to why she held such an honour but she truly had no complaints. She was more than happy with it. _

_ The goth sat on Tori's bed, watching as she began to write in the notebook. For some reason, Lerner had a stupid opposition to anything electronic, meaning all essays had to be hand written as well. She had seen Tori work tirelessly for the class and she was despising the teacher for putting Tori through Hell for no good reason. "What did you get on that test last week anyways?" _

_ "76." _

_ "A 76?! Tori, you busted your ass studying for that test! How in the fuck did you get a 76?!" _

_ "Jade, no cursing! You know how my parents feel about that." _

_ "But a 76… You spent so much time…" _

_ "I didn't know the information. I froze during the test. That's all there is to it. Hopefully I can get my grade up with this essay." She seemed unfazed and Jade sighed at how nonchalant she was. She knew Lerner had a disliking towards Vega but she never knew why. Maybe it was after the fact the school found out they were a thing. The teacher was obviously a conservative so no doubt the fact that she was gay played a significant part in it. _

_ "Do you think that you're dating me has anything to do with it?" _

_ Tori shrugged. "I really don't know but if I do find out that it's based on that…" She threw a sly grin to Jade. "My dad is a cop," she said matter of factly before returning to her work, a laugh of disbelief escaping Jade's throat. _

_ "You're something different, Vega. I hope you know that." _

_ "Depends. Is it a good different?" _

_ "Very good different," she whispered in her ear, biting down gently on her lobe. _

_ "No, Jade. I told you. Not today. I really need to get this done." _

_ "But you never say no. Come on. It'll only take five minutes. Not even. I know you want to," Jade tempted in her ear, smiling more as she pressed a kiss on her neck right beneath her jaw. _

_ "I know but I really wanna get this done. Come on, please?" She gave a look of pleading to her lover who sighed, giving in. _

_ "Fine, but you gotta pay me back." _

_ "Oh, I will," she grinned before kissing her deeply. _


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine **

Tori woke to find herself in Jade's arms. She noticed that the goth was asleep, seemingly happy and content. She found no will to wake her and disturb her of her happiness. Jade needed happiness in her life and sleep was a good source of it, given no nightmares of course.

But for the singer, it seemed as though her nightmare had begun. Every inch of her was in pain. Except she noticed that she couldn't feel a thing from the waist down. Now that she was no longer filled with drugs, she was able to finally think clearly. And fear flooded through her. She could move her arms just fine and she3 was able to identify everything that was on her chest and stomach. The feeling stopped below her waist. She slowly took off the covers, not wanting to disturb Jade. She placed a hand on her leg, attempting to feel it. Nothing. Her breathing picked up. There… She couldn't be. She… paralyzed? That thought made her whole body grow numb and cold with fear. She couldn't be. She couldn't…

Tori shook her head. She had to relax and gain her composure. That was all she could do. She would have to wait to ask… She eyed the button that called a nurse and sifted her gaze between Jade and the button. Fear was eating away at her and her finger hovered over the button for several minutes before she decided to wait. She grabbed the pain relief pills, simple Tylenol, and downed it with the water before lying back down.

Despite being asleep for weeks, she found herself without an appetite. Even if she woke up with one, it was gone as soon as the idea of being paralyzed kicked in. Who could eat after that was a possibility? If she was paralyzed, that changed absolutely everything. Her whole life would be altered. She would have trouble doing even the simplest of tasks. School would be different, she knew that for a fact. No doubt a wheelchair would be provided for her. Great. Fucking marvelous. If she could have just been more careful… If… If a lot of things… Still, nothing was for certain. About anything.

She ran her hands through her hair. Paralyzed. Who would want a paralyzed person for anything? A wife, singer, actress, anything. She would be a burden to everyone around her. She hated that thought with an absolute passion and she couldn't stop the tears that welled u-p in her eyes, a few of them rolling down, the sheets soaking them up immediately. A soft sniffle escaped her before she broke down, crying into her hands, not being able to help it, nor could she stop it. However, she tried to make it as quiet as possible.

It seemed as though it wasn't quiet enough for Jade groaned as she woke.  
"Tori? Are you up?"

"Jade. I'm sorry I woke you. I didn't mean to," she spoke.

"No. Don't be sorry." She sat up. "I'm happy to see you wake. How are you feeling?" She looked at the tears rolling down and her heart began to throb painfully at seeing the younger Vega so upset. "Why… Why are you crying?"

"… I… I can't feel anything past my waist," she admitted.

"Y-you can't?" Jade seemed to pale at that. _Dear God. No. Please. Don't tell me that… Please. Not Tori. Not her. _"Can't feel anything. Are you sure?"

She nodded as more tears flowed. She was terrified. She didn't know what to do. "Let's ask the doctor first. I don't want you to jump to conclusions so quickly. You may not be. Maybe… Because of the surgery."

"Surgery?"

"Yes. Vega, you were in an awful car crash. I think you've had several surgeries. You were just so broken… We all thought that you were going to die for the longest time. Mostly everything is off because you recovered so quickly, faster than we expected you to."

"What time is it?"

Jade took out her phone. "Currently four in the morning."

"Four in the…" She stopped, attempting to process that. "What are you doing here? Jade, did you sneak in?"

She shrugged. "Yeah, why? What's the big deal?"

"Why did you sneak in? Are you keeping me company?"

Jade turned a light pink. "N-no!" she immediately defended herself. "I got kicked out of my house and I had no where else to go so I decided to come here."

"Surely you could have went to Beck's."

"We're not together anymore. It would be weird, awkward, ya know." She sighed, hating to lie to her. While it truthfully would be strange, that wasn't the full reason but Tori didn't have to know that. She could find out later if she wanted to. Now, they had to deal with whatever the fuck life wanted to throw at them now. Until then, she would keep the lies going.

"You don't have to lie to me now that I'm awake. I heard everything you said to me. You were the only thing I could hear this entire time," she whispered. "I know you… I…" She clenched her eyes shut, a rush of pain silencing her. She felt Jade grasp her hand at that. After a few moments of silence, she relaxed, opening her eyes. "I know that you love me," she finished, offering her a smile. "I've known it for a while. I was waiting for you to admit it. Especially after you broke it off with Beck. I was just waiting for you to admit it. And I was trying to give you signs that I wasn't entirely straight either. Besides the fact that all I've dated were boys. But everyone is dead set on the thought that I'm straight that no girl will bother to ask."

"That's a great method, Vega. Otherwise all the lesbians and bisexuals would immediately go after you. You wouldn't stay single even if you tried," Jade chuckled. "Truth be told, I really couldn't give a shit. I know that I eventually was going to tell you regardless of your sexuality. All I could have hoped for was that you would give me a chance even if you were completely straight."

"I couldn't deny you. Even if I truly wanted to. Do you know how many times I've wanted to say fuck you and fuck it and just leave you alone and let you deal with your troubles yourself?"

"It would've been a smart thing to do. Why didn't you?"

"Because I know you're hurting. All you've ever done was hurting. Hurt by people, your parents, yourself. Don't think I can't tell the difference between makeup and your actual skin. And you wearing long sleeves almost daily or wearing something to cover your wrists? Jade, I'm not blind to what you're going through. I have Trina to live with. And she might not know it but she's broken me to the brink of self-harm."

"Snap Trina's neck. Got it," Jade whispered, attempting to lighten the mood. "She's the reason you're like this now. If she wasn't such a fucking idiot! I really wish that your father wasn't a cop but it could be claimed as justifiable homicide."

"Jade. Stop… It's not her fault. It's mine. If I could've been paying attention or I could've gotten a ride or… I dunno… But it's done and over with."

"No! It's not. Look at you! You're bedridden and possibly paralyzed! It's not done and over with! It's-!" She stopped herself, watching Tori as tears began to escape her. She now realized that her words were upsetting her. She was supposed to be comforting her, not doing the opposite. "T-tori. I'm sorry… I-."

"Don't be sorry. You're right. This isn't over. And it's not going to be until I'm dead, especially if I'm paralyzed…" She heard a knock on the door and glanced over as a doctor and member of security walked in.

"Come with me," the security addressed Jade who sighed. She pressed a kiss on the Latina's forehead before leaving her with the doctor. Due to the doctor needing to look at private areas, her parents requested to change to a female instead of male, assuming that Tori would be more comfortable with her.

The doctor headed to the monitors, looking over several, jotting a few notes down. "I… assume that you wanna know if…" She looked at the girl sadly. "I'm sorry… But your spine was crushed in the car accident. We did surgery to straighten it and we've replaced several vertebrae but it appears that the chance of you walking again is slim to none. I am truthfully very sorry, Miss Vega." She placed a hand on her shoulder, gently rubbing it with her thumb as Tori stared blandly ahead, as though having that confirmation, merely hearing it despite already expected the worse, seemed to hear her apart from the inside out.

"A lot is gonna change for you. I would tell you to rest but I truly doubt you can without help. I'll administer a sedative if you wish." The girl nodded, wanting nothing more than to disappear and fall back into sleep's embrace. She laid back down now, allowing the doctor to insert the liquid into her IV. One final tear fell right before darkness settled over her, erasing her from the world.

Jade stared out the window in the cop car, watching the street lights pass by. She had been arrested on the claim of suspicion of burglary. It wasn't her first time in handcuffs and she doubted that it would be her last. She wanted to go against security and the cops, merely wishing to stay with Tori, but the commotion wasn't necessary and it wouldn't help the singer's wellbeing so she went along quietly. In terms of helping her, that was all she could truthfully offer her.

Upon entering the station, she was searched for weapons. A razor and a scissor was confiscated from her. When inquired about parents or guardians, she denied the existence of both, stating she was living with Beck, knowing he would vouch for her. She didn't want her parents involved. While she knew they would bail her out if necessary, she didn't want the beratement of her father. Verbally, emotionally, mentally, or physically. That was the last thing she needed.

Jade stared out of the small window next to her cell, watching the sunrise. She rubbed her eyes tiredly, looking at the clock that soon struck seven. She sighed, new officers walking in for the night shift had ended. She wondered if she could persuade them to let her out but judging by the paperwork that had been piled up because of her, she doubted it was a possibility at the end of the day. There had to be something she could do, some way to convince them.

"Your claim for being in the hospital was to keep your girlfriend company? You had no ill intentions?" came the sudden inquisition from a female officer.

"Yes, ma'am," she answered politely. "She was in a really bad car crash that result in her being in a coma and I didn't want to leave her side. Ifs eh were to go, whether or not she knew it, I didn't want her to die alone. But she started to make progress and she woke up. I didn't want her to be around unfamiliar faces without someone by her side." She finished and watched as the officer came forward and unlocked the cell door.

"Come on. I'll drive you to the hospital. The case will be closed."

"Why are you doing this?" Jade was more than surprised.

"I've been in your position. The exact same one. My wife died however and I regret that I wasn't by her side. Every day I apologize to her, convinced that I should have stayed with her. The doctors told me that she was stable. Something in my gut told me otherwise and… when I got the phone call telling me she died, I was fucking disgusted with myself. If you were willing to stay there all night, then it's obvious that she means a lot to you. You should be able to stay with her, regardless of those stupid visiting hours. According to the report, you weren't doing any harm, you weren't causing a scene. Suspect of burglary my ass," she scoffed before getting into the car. "Sit upfront with me."

Jade did so, taking in the information. She was grateful for the cop and her sympathy for her. If only more people could think that way. "Thank you," she whispered, never once thinking that she would find herself thanking a person of the law. It always seemed as though the law was against her anyway.

"Don't thank me, honey. I'm doing my job. What I believe is the right thing to do and that is helping people. So please. Just do me a favor when you get there. Tell her that you love her."

The remaining time of the ride was quiet and the officer brought jade into the hospital. "Do not call security to take this woman out. She comes and goes as she pleases," she spoke to the woman at the front desk. "Understood?" The woman nodded before Jade headed to the ICU section of the hospital. She caught sight of the doctor that was there earlier. "Tori… Is she?"

"Paralyzed? Unfortunately, yes. If you are to go inside, p-lease be quiet. She's asleep still. I gave her some medicine."

"Are you allowed to do that?"

"On account of pain relief, yes, I am. Giving it to her isn't going to give her any ill effects in the future and at the moment, I would find it the best so she doesn't get too worked up. Paralyzed or not, she needs to rest. Her heart still isn't the most stable."

"Is there a possibility of her still dying?"

"Yes. There always is. Especially since she's still in the ICU. She might have woken which is a considerable amount of progress. Always is. While her brain might have healed enough to regain consciousness, her heart is struggling and will continue to do so. We gave her a pacemaker for the time being.

Jade seemed to pale even more at that. "Pacemaker? Will she have that forever?"

"She can choose to. But she can choose to have surgery to remove it. A very safe surgery too but that's only if she's interested. And if she wakes, please be careful on what you say. Give her words of encouragement. Even though this situation could be better, panicking isn't gonna help either of you."

The goth nodded and sighed as she took all that information in. Entering the room, she stared at the singer who was asleep, resting on her side as though everything was normal, as though nothing was wrong. If only that was the truth. She wanted tis to be some sick fucking nightmare where she could wake up in bed to head to school and find that there was no accident, no hospitals, doctor, surgeries, blood. Fucking none of it. She knew that wasn't the case. But all she could do was hope.

She was careful as she got into the bed, gathering the girl in her arms. "… We'll get through this. I… I know we will… I… I'll make sure that you continue to be you. We'll ensure that nothing ahs changed. That everything is still normal. We won't treat you any differently. I promise. And if someone wants to be mean to you, they'll have to deal with me first. We're in this together. I swear to you."

_"Vega, get up! I want cuddles!" Jade dramatically threw herself over Tori to which the teen groaned in return. _

_ "It's Saturday. Let's sleep in more. Come on. What time is it anyway?" _

_ "Nine in the morning. Come on, I want cuddles!" She pulled Tori onto her, switching their positions. _

_ Tori merely sighed, burying her face into her neck, relaxing once again. "Mmmm… Comfy," she smiled happily. She seemed to relax even more when she felt her arms wrap around her, a kiss placed on her temple. It was a few moments of silence until Tori sighed. "Are you sure that you still want to stay with a cripple?" she whispered. _

_ "Vega. Listen to me." She took her face in her hands, her green eyes piercing her chocolate brown ones. "I don't care if you're paralyzed. I don't care if you couldn't do a single thing for yourself. I would gladly do it for you. I love you. This relationship isn't fake. And I would never treat it as such. I'm committed in this relationship. Which means I'm committed to you. I'd do everything and anything for you. Because I love you. And I mean that I love you more than anyone else. More than Beck. More. Than. Anyone. Do you understand me?" _

_ "… yeah. I understand," she sighed. "But… I mean, don't you feel… burdened with me?"_

_ "No! Of course not. Tori, what the Hell did I just finish telling you?" _

_ "I know! I know! But still! No one else is dating a paralyzed girl." _

_ "Tell me. When was the last time I cared about what anyone else does? Besides you, of course." _

_ "… you don't care about what anyone else thinks. But I do! And you care about what I care about! So… I don't want you to feel… I dunno." _

_ "What do you mean? Why does it bother you if it doesn't bother me?" _

_ "Because I don't like being dependent on you! I'm a burden to you! You might not think it but I do! I don't want to have to rely on you! For anything!" _

_ "I… Tori," she whispered. "I… Please. I really don't want you to feel like this. I don't. How… Is there anyway I can make you feel better?" she inquired, her heart aching at how upset she seemed. "I hate seeing you this upset. Tell me how I can help you, how I can make you feel better. I beg of you."_

_ "I… Don't… Jade, no," she whispered. "Not now." _

_ "Then when?" _

_ "Jade. Please. I really just want to go back to sleep." _

_ "All you've been doing is sleeping since you came back from the hospital. I'm getting worried. Do you feel alright? Do you think you need to go back to it?" _

_ "No. I refuse to. I don't want to." _

_ "Your health is important! I really think you should if you're not feeling all up to it. I don't want you getting hurt or sick. You know I care about you." _

_ "Then leave it alone!" She snapped, getting out of bed. She grabbed the wheelchair, pulling it to her. She ignored Jade's attempt to help her, quite literally shooing her away. "I'm going out for a drive," she mumbled, the car having been modified so she could drive. _

_ "I don't think that's a good idea." _

_ "If you don't care what I think, then I don't care about what you think. You've been an ass to me mostly my whole time I've known you. Fake or not. You can do it again. Now. Leave. Me. Alone." _

_ "No! I told you that this a commitment!" She gently took her face in her hands, tears forming in her eyes. She pressed a deep kiss on her lips. "I love you. That's all there fucking is to it. Do you understand me? I'm. Not. Leaving. Your. Side." She kissed her deeply once again, the kiss filled with love and meaning. The singer whimpered, going into her arms as silent tears started to fall. _


	10. Chapter 10

**Night and Day**

**Chapter Ten **

Tori wasn't used to being bedridden, especially not for the two weeks following her waking up but Jade was there with her. She was more than grateful for that. "Are you ready to go home?" Jade smiled as she helped her get into her wheelchair.

The Latina smiled in return. Despite forcing it, it was true at the very end. "I suppose," she whispered. "I mean, I don't exactly like it here. It's not too homey. It's too plain."

"Well, it is a hospital," Robbie answered, leaning against a wall. Everyone had decided to be there with her when she got out, wanting to support her no matter what.

"But look at the flowers!" Cat jumped in. "They're so pretty!"

"Who picked those out?" Tori inquired, taking a pink rose.

"Jade did," Beck smiled, surprising her.

"Really? I thought you hated pink," she teased Jade who turned a light red.

"I know that you like pink so I decided to get some for you. It's not my flowers so I didn't want to be selfish about it. You're the one in the hospital," she smiled, pressing a kiss to her temple. Robbie awed to which she threw a glare at him. "Watch it, Robbie. I'm with Vega. Not you."

"Awe. Come on Jade. Be nice to him. Please?" Jade groaned, rolling her eyes.

"But I don't want him thinking I'm becoming soft."

"But you are," Beck smirked.

"Don't. Try. Me. Beck," she growled, standing to his height. She sighed when Tori took her hand, intertwining their fingers. "Tori, please… Don't make me give in," she whined.

"I'm not. I just wanna go home. I don't wanna be here any longer than I have to," she answered, pressing a kiss to her knuckles, causing Jade to groan and sit on the bed.

"You're gonna be the death of me, you know," she teased, pressing another kiss to her temple.

"Oh, but you love it."

"Fuck you!"

"When and where?" Tori smiled in return before sighing. "Can we leave now?"

"Want me to wheel you out?" Jade offered.

"No. If I wanna get used to it, I gotta do it."

"You know I would wheel you around whenever," she responded.

"I know, Jade. But I don't wanna be a burden. Please. Let me do this for myself." She locked eyes with Jade, her own filled with pain and suffering. It broke the goth's heart. She took in a shaky breath before nodding. Tori grabbed the wheels of the chair and pushed herself forward, exiting the hospital room. Something about her was different. She didn't have a cheerful aura around her like she used to. And it hurt to see her like that. She sighed before following.

The ride to Beck's RV was silent. She had finally agreed to go with him. She didn't want to barge in on Tori. She hadn't offered but she didn't blame her, knowing that it was a lot. "You alright?" Beck was the first to speak up. "You're awfully quiet."

"Just thinking."

"About?"

"A lot," she responded sadly. "I absolutely hate what happened to Tori."

"Don't think about that. Please. She's alive. It could be worse." He stopped when he saw her shudder. "Sorry."

"No. You're right. But… A part of me… wishes she did go." He stopped the car suddenly.

"Wait, what?!" He demanded. "But I thought you love her!"

"Exactly! I do love her! And that's way… she wouldn't be in pain. She won't face any challenges. She'll be happy, in peace. Beck, she's so down. She isn't like this! She rarely forces smiles and now she's doing it almost every time she smiles! She's not okay. And she… I dunno if she ever is…"

"… She's Tori. She'll be okay eventually."

"And what if she's not?"

"Will you stop worrying?"

"Beck, you aren't getting it!"

"Yes! I am! Jade, you're not the only one who cares for her! All of us are gonna be there and make her okay no matter what! Even if we have to sacrifice Robbie to Satan or something."

"… But…"

"No! No buts! We're gonna do this. Alright?"

"Alright. Fine."

"Jade. I'm serious. Look at me."

"I said fine!"

"But you don't mean it."

"And how the fuck do you know?"

"Because we've been together for years! How can I not know?"

Jade stared ahead now, refusing to look at him. "Because… I don't deserve your kindness," she mumbled now. "I never did. I never expected you to take the time to truly know me, especially because I closed myself off for the longest time and I refused to show you. Beck, we've been over this," she spoke tiredly, defeated. "… We've been over this…"

"I know we have! I just wish you would accept the fact that people care about you, whether you like it or not! You are loved and we know that you care about us, even if you don't show it. You're hurting because Tori is. But if we're by her side, if we ensure that not a thing is gonna be different, she'll be okay. And so will you. Besides, did the doctor not say that there's a chance she can walk again?"

"She said slim to none."

"But there's still a chance."

"We don't know that, Beck!" Jade hissed. "And what if she never walks again?!"

"What if she does?"

"Why are you so hopeful?"

"Because that's what Tori needs! Tori doesn't need realism or pessimism. Tori needs hope, that light at the end of the tunnel. If there's a chance she could walk, she needs to hold onto it. Even if it's less than one percent, it's still there."

"When did you become so philosophic?"

"When I started dating you," he chuckled.

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"I needed something to look forward to in life. I was never truly happy. You became that something," he spoke, getting back on the road. "I've dated plenty of girls. You've known this. But none of them… Made me happy. All of them were ditz. Those cliché, stupid blondes that offer nothing but sex and their bodies. I absolutely hated it. So I stopped dating for the longest time. Until you showed up. And you just… took control. You knew what you wanted. And you knew how to get it. And for that, I fell for you.

"It wasn't love at first sight. You know that just as well as I do. I wish truly that it was. It felt like it. But what I'm saying is that there's good in everything, always something to look forward to."

"Did you just say that I'm horrid?" She laughed.

"No!" he responded, laughing. "You see nothing but bad in yourself but you were the reason I woke up daily. Even during our fights. You meant the world to me and you mean the world to Tori now. She needs a positive person by her side. You need to be that person. Don't you get it?"

She stared ahead at the road, becoming quiet, just thinking now. She took in a deep breath. "Yeah… I suppose I do. It's just…"

"It's not anything. Tori doesn't need anymore anguish. Please. I beg of you. Just be there for her. If you truly love her as you say you do, push yourself to push Tori. Both of you will be thankful in the end. Including us."

She gave no indication of hearing him, just the slightest of nods before a shuddery breath escaped past her lips.

Tori refused to look at anyone as her father picked her up from her wheelchair and carried her upstairs, placing her on her bed. "There," he smiled, pressing a tender kiss on her forehead. "Finally home."

She offered him a weak smile. "Yeah, it's been forever," she mumbled, looking around. Nothing had changed. It was as though not a single moment had passed since she last left. At least one thing remained consistent.

"Do you need anything else?"

_My ability to walk,_ she thought bitterly. She shook her head, giving another fake smile. "No. No thank you. Goodnight, Dad," she whispered, shifting as she got underneath the covers that didn't scratch her and were thick enough to actually warm her up. She heard her door shut behind her and she sighed, growing lonely. She was now officially used to Jade holding her in bed. It was strange without her.

She heard her phone go off and she grabbed it from her pocket, forgetting it was there. A small smile formed as she saw a text from Jade. **Hey. How are you?**

** Could be better. You? **She responded back. She didn't want to put even more on Jade's shoulders. She found it truly unnecessary.

**I'm alright. Tired. How are you managing? **

** Alright. Mom and Dad have been helping me a lot. **

** And Trina?**

** She's upset. She hasn't left her room.**

** She didn't show up at the hospital and now she's not even staying with you?!**

** Jade, she's upset.**

** It doesn't matter! It's her fault!**

** That's exactly why she's upset. Because she believes it to be true. But it's not her fault. You shouldn't say it's hers. She didn't cause the accident. **

** She was the one who told you to go with her. **

** Because she broke her leg!**

** Over high heels she had no business wearing!**

** Jade, please. That's enough. I'm gonna head to bed if you continue. **

The goth stared at the message, sighing. **I'm sorry. I'm just… I care about you.**

** I know you do. Trina is still my sister. So please. I love her no matter what. She might piss us off but she's still my older sister. **

** I got it. I'm sorry. **

** Thank you. I'm gonna head to bed. Goodnight 3**

** Goodnight. Sleep well 3 **Jade set her phone down, running her fingers through her hair in annoyance. "Damn it!" she finally yelled out, startling Beck.

"Huh? What is it? Are you okay?"

"No! I'm not okay! I upset Tori! It's only eight! Why would she be heading to bed now?"

"Maybe she's just genuinely tired. Today has been a long day for everyone, you know. Why do you think you upset her?"

"I said the accident was Trina's fault."

"And what did she say after?"

"She said she was gonna go to bed if I continued. I apologized but she headed to bed regardless."

"As I said. She's probably tired. You should get some rest."

She groaned but relented without much fight, finding herself exhausted too. She stared down at her phone wallpaper, smirking slightly as she read the words, "let it shine" over and over again.

_"Customize my wheelchair? Jade, you cannot be serious," Tori spoke incredulously. "No one does that." _

_ "Be the first to then," she smiled in return. _

_ "What do I even decorate it with? It's a wheelchair, not an accessory. It serves its purpose. I don't wanna decorate it." _

_ "Come on. It'll cheer you up. You've been upset lately and… I just wanna see your smile again." _

_ "You see it plenty," Tori whispered weakly. _

_ "No. You've been down lately. And I just wanna see you be you again… You've been growing dim." _

_ "Because… Jade. Decorating my wheelchair isn't going to make me happy. I'm… Jade, I don't want to do this anymore! I don't! I'm dependent on you and everyone! I can't do shit for myself! I have a bag always attached to me. I. Don't. Want. To. Do. This." _

_ "So that's it? You're giving up?" _

_ "Yeah, I am! You told me to hold on, that things would get better!"_

_ "Tori, this isn't you!"_

_ "No! It isn't! But I also wasn't fucking crippled before! Leave me alone! Get out!"_

_ "Vega, I-!"_

_ "OUT!" she yelled, her chocolate eyes ablaze with pure anger. Jade stood there. _

_ "No."_

_ "Now."_

_ "When have I ever listened to anyone, Vega? Can you tell me that?" _

_ "I'm not fighting with you. Fuck it," she mumbled, beginning to turn around and leave. Jade grabbed her wheelchair, stopping her._

_ "Yes. You. Are." _

_ "Fuck off." _

_ "Vega. You leave now and you leave me," she threatened, hoping that would work. She stared Tori dead in the eye. Tori smirked bitterly before wheeling herself away, slamming the door shut behind her. Jade growled, annoyed at herself now. "FUCKING DAMNIT!" She kicked the wall, leaving behind a hole. She punched it now, leaving another hole and bloody knuckles. She stared at the broken skin before punching another hole. And another. And another. She collapsed on her knees, beginning to sob into her hands. "Damn it, Tori. Please. Don't do this to me. Please. I beg of you…" she whimpered to herself, attempting to get some form of grip on her emotions. She couldn't. When it came to Tori, she couldn't control a fucking thing about her emotions. That's what pissed her off the most. She hated her for it. She hated how she broke down the walls she spent absolutely years building, adding layer after layer upon each incident. She had managed to break it. Each column, each section, each row until she was left vulnerable. But only to her. She was naked, nude. One look into her eyes and Tori was capable of seeing absolutely everything. She was the only one that Jade would ever go weak for, give absolutely anything and everything up for._

_ She stared at the bloody knuckles, watching as the rich blood ran down and she was brought back to that night. The night her father had found her lying on the bathroom floor. The blood was escaping her wrists and she saw the distressed look in her father's eyes. That was the only time she thought he ever cared about her._

_ When she had woken up in the hospital, she had found herself alone, apart from the woman checking her vitals. She had inquired about her mother and father to be informed that they were at mass, promising to be back before visiting hours were over. She had passed out again before the nurse could tell her anything else. _

_ She only remembered faint glimpses of the following. Tears of her mother, her father thanking God for ensuring she lived. She couldn't thank Him. She wouldn't. She resented Him, actually, upset that He continued to torture her, act as though she had something ahead of her to look forward to. And when she met Tori, she thanked Him. But now she was cursing Him again, demanding why He was pulling something else she loved away from her, torturing her, killing her from the inside out again. Why?_

_ Her father told her she had something great to offer the world, that her duty wasn't done. But when would it be? Why did she have to suffer? Didn't God die for her sins so she wouldn't suffer? If He was all loving and all merciful, then why…? Why?! Why?! Why?!_

_ He proclaimed her his little angel. But she remembered the images of the Old Testament had conjured up. Terrifying. They were… demonic of sorts. And she remembered that if an angel showed themselves to a human, they could die out of fear if the angel wishes it to be so. It was wings however. It was the wings that terrified her. A mass of them, filled with eyes. They were a combination of many angels in one. And if those were the good angels, the good guys, she was petrified to know what the bad ones would be perceived as. _

_ She also recalled that Lucifer was once an angel as well. But he went against God, the only person to do so and was immediately banished to Hell. So was she Lucifer in this situation? Was she a fallen angel? Did she go against God and now had to spend her life suffering day after day? Being forced to relive her mistakes and dwell on what was, what she no longer had? _

_ "The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want." But He wasn't Tori. He wasn't there for her when she desperately needed someone, something. Want and need are two separate things. She forgot what the Bible said about that. _

_ "Deluded," Jade mumbled to herself. "They are deluded, forced to believe in a cruel and unforgiving God. Deluded. Deluded. Deluded," she punched the wall again, enjoying the throbbing pain that allowed the emotional pain to slowly die away. "I've done nothing to deserve this. Why?! Why have You damned me?! Why must You continue to punish me?! You're breaking me! Why?! I believed in You! You took them from me! Why must You take Tori?! Why?! What must I do?!" She punched yet another hole. "Take me instead! Let me drown in the deepest pits of lava! Damn me to the darkest layer of Hell if that means Tori stays with me! Please!" Tears rushed down her cheeks and neck, a pool of them landing next to the puddle of blood. _

_ She didn't hear the door open, too wrapped up in her agony, her heart throbbing in her chest, her sobs suffocating her. She only noticed Tori's presence when she felt arms wrap around her, pulling her close to her chest. "Jade," Tori whispered, her voice breaking. "Jade. Please. I'm right here. I'm so sorry. I'm not gonna leave you. I swear. I-."_

_ The goth cut her short, kissing her deeply, not allowing another word to escape past her lips. "Shut the fuck up. You shut the fuck up, Vega. You fucking hear me?" she demanded, curling her fingers in her shirt. She buried her face into her neck now. "Just shut the fuck up." _

_ They remained in silence for the longest time, Tori holding Jade as she sobbed into her chest. The black haired teen held onto the singer, wanting nothing more than to claim her lover. It broke her heart. She felt as though she was the reason Jade was so broken. The goth stood by her side the entirety of the time, ensuring she was comfortable, showing that she wasn't doing it alone. She was too selfish to realise how much she truly meant to Jade, how hurt she would get by her most previous actions. She slowly shut her own eyes, grasping her even tighter to her chest. "I'm so sorry," she whispered in her ear, her own frame trembling. "I'm so sorry." _

_ "Don't be sorry. You have no reason to. You… can't help how you're feeling," Jade sniffled, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. "I pushed you over the edge. If anyone is to be sorry, it should be me." She sucked in a shuddery breath, slowly but surely relaxing in Tori's arms. _

_ "No. What I said was wrong. I wasn't thinking. I just acted and said. And I knew how you feel about that. I don't want to leave you. I love you with everything I have…" She began to shake herself, terrified that she somehow messed up and that Jade was going to leave her for what she said. "I'm not leaving…"_

_ "You swear?" She whimpered, feeling more than small, more than weak. "You're… You're not?" _

_ "I swear on my life," she mumbled. "I'm not leaving you. I'm gonna stick by you no matter what. I told you. I'm just… So fucking down all the time. But I shouldn't have done it. And I'm so fucking sorry. I'm so sorry…" She held her closer, gently running her fingers through her hair. "Forgive me."_

_ "No. I have nothing to forgive because you did nothing wrong. We all have breaking points. You're human. And you're so damn amazing for making it this long. I doubt anyone else could have. I'm so fucking proud of you. And that's why I love you so damn much. So fucking much. I just wish you could see how fucking amazing you are. Because you're everything and more to me. If you died… I don't think I could have survived it. I really don't think so. And I'm not attempting to make you upset or anything. I'm not trying to guilt trip you. I love you with everything I have. Seeing you so broken breaks me. It breaks me and all I want to do is hold you until I can take your pain away. I wish I could…"_

_ Tori was silent as she held onto Jade, tears rolling down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," she sobbed more. "I never fucking meant to!" She held her, sobs making her body shake. "Jade. Please… Please. I'm not in pain. I'm handicapped but not in pain. I have to see someone about this. It's a lot of trauma that I've been pushing back and hiding away. And it's not healthy for either of us. I just want to pretend that everything is okay but it's truly not. And you shouldn't have to suffer because I can't admit to myself that this is reality. Because I've never had to face with this sort of reality before and it's different."_

_ "Just say that it's hard. Don't sugarcoat it, please," she whispered in return. "We both need to be honest about this situation." _

_ "I know we do. But that's just it, Jade. I don't want to be. I don't want this damned thing to be real either. I want my ability to walk back. I want my fucking independence back. I want me back!" _

_ "I know! Believe me, Tori. I know," Jade began to cry harder. "I know," she held Tori tighter, whimpering. "I know…" _


	11. Chapter 11

**Night and Day**

**Chapter Eleven **

The first day back to high school for Tori was different. Well, the morning of the first day back. All she could worry about was if anyone perceived her differently and a large part of her truly felt less than herself. She simply didn't want to face reality so soon. But she knew she couldn't hold it off anymore.

Part of her wasn't even worried for herself. Actually, a lot was towards everyone else she knew. She didn't know what others thought of her friends. About Jade dating her still, about… Trina. Oh, God. Trina.

Her sister had been a wreck since Tori had gotten into the accident. Part of her knew that her older sister wouldn't hurt herself physically for it but she also knew that she has been beating herself up since it happened. She was different around Tori, if she was ever around her anymore, that was. She had gone out of her way, purposely avoiding her younger sister. Tori concluded that she was ashamed for being her sister. She didn't know why but she knew. That was eating her alive.

But despite that, she wasn't alone. Her mother and father devoted a lot of time to her now, her friends ensuring she was alright. And Jade. Jade was practically her guardian angel, always there wit her. Always there. She found out the situation with her parents and insisted that she lived with her. Jade said that she was fine with Beck. Tori won the argument, however.

Jade practically dedicated every second to Tori. And despite the fact that she found it sweet, she was truly beginning to worry about her well-being, feeling as though she was stressing herself out too much. But a kiss on the lips would immediately shut her up in return. Then they were both content and happy. In that moment, everything would stop and time would freeze. Everything would be alright. No pain, suffering, sadness. Just the two of them, holding onto one another, content in their embrace. Tori forgot about her injury, her handicap. Jade forgot about her own emotionally damaging past and would only think about what the future had in store for them. All good things. She knew that even if the both of them were burning in the deepest layer of Hell, as long as they had each other, they would be happy.

"Jade… I can wheel myself up," Tori addressed her as they got to the school.

"I can do it, too. Come on, Vega."

"I don't wanna be a liability."

"How many times od I have to tell you, love? You're not a liability. And you never will be."

"Aren't you… tired of taking care of me?"

Jade shook her head immediately, scoffing at that. "Sometimes I wonder if you truly know me." She walked in front of her, kneeling down and taking her hands in hers gently. "You are not a liability. You are no such thing. If anything, you're a blessing. And nothing you say or do will make me think differently. Do you understand?"

"Jade…"

"Do you or do you not understand? Answer the question, Vega." Tori took a deep breath before nodding. The goth pressed a gentle kiss on her cheek. "Good girl." She smiled when she saw the blush she loved oh-so-much form, Tori always being incapable of hiding it. "Do you know how fucking adorable you are?" she smirked, the blush growing deeper.

"Stop," Tori whined not being able to stop the smile that was forming on her own lips.

Jade leaned in, capturing her lips with hers, a soft groan escaping the back of the Latina's throat. She raised her hands, setting them on Jade's shoulders. "Never," she whispered in Tori's ear upon pulling away, a shudder rushing through the other.

"We gotta get inside before we're late to class. I don't wanna start my first day back on the wrong foot… or wrong… wheel," Tori laughed, not being able to help it.

"That's horrible!" Jade responded, a laugh escaping past her lips as she wheeled Tori inside. Andre was the first to notice their presence.

"There you are! Where were you?"

"Outside, stalling," Tori answered.

"We thought you were gonna stay home again," Cat added truthfully. "It's lonely without you two."

"She's right," Robbie added. "It's been strange not hearing death threats from Jade." He pulled back at the glare he received.

"Ah. There's that death glare. Missed that, too," Rex added. "Damn." Neither Rex nor Robbie had time to react when Jade grabbed the puppet out of the nerd's hands, chucking him down the hall.

"Rex!" Robbie yelled, chasing after the flying puppet.

Andre looked back at Jade. "Dang. You really didn't change, did you?"

"Nope. Still same ol' Jade West," Tori smiled, still holding her lover's hand.

"Damn. Wish Tori could have done something more with you," Beck teased, nudging the goth.

"Just because you're not the size of a puppet doesn't mean I can't throw you," she threatened in return.

"Jade, be nice," Tori interjected.

"But why? He's making fun of me."

"He's teasing. You know I do the same," she winked. A light blush dusted her cheeks and she sighed, throwing a quick glare at the laughing Canadian.

"Nevermind. I guess she did."

"Watch it. Tori isn't always gonna be here to save your ass."

"I beg to differ. You two have been absolutely inseparable."

"I mean," Tori began. "He's not wrong."

"Why are you defending him? I thought you were on my side, Vega."

"I am. I'm just agreeing with the fact that I'm not leaving your side anytime soon… Well, except for going to class but that's different. I don't have a choice in that."

"But you do. You or Jade can get classes together and make out in the back," Rex spoke as Robbie came back.

"No! Jade, don't!" Robbie attempted when she grabbed Rex, shoving him inside a trashcan. He sighed in resignation before digging through it to retrieve him. "Jade, what was that for?"

"If he wants to talk trashy, he can go in the trash."

Tori laughed aloud at that. "I'm glad you didn't change. I would miss those comments, however rude or mean they are. One of the many reasons I love you."

"Oh, yes. Because bullying is always so loveable," Rex said, his words muffled by the trashcan.

"She also still carries scissors around," Tori informed.

"Alright. I think that's our cue to head to class," Robbie responded, now rushing off with a trash covered Rex as though his life depended on it.

"Smart boy," Jade mumbled as she turned her attention back to the others.

"I really think we should get to class though," Tori piped up. "We are the only ones in the hallway."

"Tori has the same class as me! Tori, can I push you to your class?" Cat inquired, still as bubbly as ever.

"It's not necessary, Cat. I can wheel myself there."

"But I like pushing people. Like that one time, my brother ended up trying to wrestle these gang members but one ended up breaking his leg. The doctor gave him crutches but he insisted on a wheelchair because he wanted to go up and down hills with it. I would push him up the hill before letting him down."

"Isn't that dangerous?" Beck arched an eyebrow.

"No! Not at all! He had a seeing stick that he took from a really old guy."

"Did he ask first?"

"He did but the old man didn't respond so he just took it as a yes. The guy must have really wanted it back because he began to crawl after him."

"I thought you said that the stick was for seeing."

"It was."

"But how did the man crawl after your brother?"

"Oh! That was another guy!"

"How many sticks did your brother take from people?"

"A lot," she responded, the smile still apparent on her lips.

"You know what's amazing. After all the years of knowing Cat, we never met her brother," Andre piped in.

"Oh, you don't want to," Cat grinned.

"What? Why not?"

"Because everyone who has ever met him has placed a restraining order against him."

"Makes… sense… Wait, how are you so close to him?"

"Because he's my brother. I love him," she smiled as she began to wheel Tori away to class. "Bye bye! See you in Sikowitz's!"

Tori waved to them, blowing a kiss good-bye to Jade before Cat turned the corner. Things were beginning to look up for her.

_"Why?" _

_ "I told you why."_

_ "It wasn't a good enough answer."_

_ "Then what more did you want me to say?" _

_ "Anything than the bullshit you just fucking told me!"_

_ "Tori, calm down. The doctor told you-."_

_ "I don't give a fuck about what the doctor told me! Jade is not harmful to my health! Staying away from her is more harmful if anything! You know that!"_

_ "Trina told me-." _

_ "And what does Trina know, mom?!" _

_ "What's good for her little sister!"_

_ "If she knew what was good for me, then I wouldn't be paralyzed, now would I?!"_

_ "Tori!" Her father snapped in disbelief. _

_ "It's fucking true and don't either of you fucking deny it! She doesn't know what's best for me because she doesn't even know what's fucking best for herself! If she did, she wouldn't be an obnoxious, arrogant bitch! I've tolerated a lot from her but the moment she takes Jade away from me is the moment I don't put up with her bullshit anymore! Now move. I'm going to get Jade." _

_ "No, you're not. For once, I agree with Trina," her mother said. "I don't think she's been having a positive impact on you. You've been much more negative since you've begun to go out with her."_

_ "Did you not notice that my fucking spine has been smashed since I began?" _

_ "Tori," her father began. "I really think you should relax and forget about it. Spend some time away from her." _

_ "Spend some time away from your job and see how it feels!" Tori hissed in response. _

_ "Tori, you know that I have to devote a lot of time to my job." _

_ "Then you should know that I have to devote a lot of time to Jade! She means the world to me and I can't just fucking leave her! She's been by my side the whole while since the crash! You know how it is since you two first met each other! You know how love is! Why can't you just support me on this?!"_

_ "Because your health is important, especially in this state." _

_ "There! You said it! You know that my health is important! So let me see her!"_

_ "That's not what I'm getting at, Tori! You know that!"_

_ "You supposedly don't!" _

_ "Tori. Enough! I'm not arguing with you! Especially not now!"_

_ "Good! Cause neither am I!" She glared in return, turning around and leaving the house despite her parents' protests, slamming the door shut behind her. _


End file.
